Marry after you’ve fought
By Kelly Frances
You may remember Frank Sinatra crooning, “Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage.” According to experts, so does a healthy marriage and arguing.
Dr. Park Jin-seng, a psychiatrist and psychotherapist who specializes in family counseling, urges couples to view the act of arguing as a valuable tool.
Park penned a book about the subject titled “Lovers, Marry After You’ve Fought.”
“People would ask me why I encourage fighting between lovers,” he said. “Through fighting, we understand our partner’s minds; their likes, dislikes, wants, needs.
We establish our ability to reconcile. No couple can live without fighting forever, so if we lack this ability, marital life is difficult.”
Park urges people to eliminate their fear of fighting.
“Every couple has to go through the process of a first big fight, or ‘blow out,’” he said. “It’s a way of learning our partner’s limits. What we do with this knowledge will shape the patterns of our communication, and ultimately, determine whether or not we will grow in a productive way.”
Park refers t
Oct 24, 2011