Marshmallow, patience, and life
By Lee Eun-jeong
“Don’t eat the marshmallow … Yet!” About a decade ago, Standford University was on a quest for an answer to an unsolved question.
What explains the difference between success and failure? What aspects in life influence people to live the way they do? This curiosity led them on until they came up with what was to be a landmark study.
Young children were left in a room with a marshmallow. They were told that they could eat the marshmallow, but if they wait for fifteen minutes, they would be given an extra marshmallow as a reward.
The study’s significance was emphasized a decade later when statistics showed that the children who had held back from eating the marshmallow for fifteen minutes were more apt to be successful in life.
The “marshmallow theory” implies how the ability to delay gratification acts as a key element that can determine one’s success or failure.
I encountered this marshmallow theory from a book, and learned how the “marshmallow” was not just a marshmallow. It was laid out in various aspects in life that I had never thought of before, and began to learn the quotation by heart.
Life presents us with many situations in which we must determine whether to “eat a marshmallow” or wait, in other words, putting aside sources of immediate gratification and joy for greater value.
I personally experienced this obligation for patience and endurance as I entered middle school. Middle school, unlike elementary school, required responsibility in one’s behavior as well as coping with the increased pressure to study.
Additionally, instead of receiving grades independently, we were ranked against our own classmates according to our test scores. It was in middle school that I encountered a “proper” test term for the first time.
I did my best in my first exam. It was hard, but it was worth it. After doing my best and getting a good score, the day our test ended was like heaven to me. Being a successful student brought many advantages.
For instance, it helped me form a sense of self-respect and my friends and teachers acknowledged my hard work and honored me for it. They were my marshmallows after 15 minutes of waiting. All this assured me that focusing on studying and not playing around, even when I wanted to, was the right thing.
After I went through this “sweet, honorable” experience, I began the habit of “waiting” for “the greater good.” I am confident that this was what enabled me to enter Daewon Foreign Language High School which I had dreamed of entering since the age of 11.
Time passed, and I entered my long-sought-for high school. Although there were some disappointments, I loved it here. I loved the fact that I could study foreign languages more than any other subject, I loved the enthusiastic and earnest teachers and I loved my fellow students.
I did not think that life could be worse than it had been at middle school. However, I discovered that life could be worse. Just after I had barely gotten familiar with the school grounds, we had our first mid-term exams.
The end of mid-term exams was the end of the test, but it was also the beginning of a new “series” of tests. This was very different from what I had experienced in middle school. I was deprived of sleep under great pressure to study and became tired of the constant restraint.
I did not get a chance to even taste my long waited for marshmallows. It was by then that my well continued habit of “not eating my marshmallows” finally failed. There was a time as a freshman that I did not do my best for my mid-terms and finals.
“What was the point of waiting when the waiting never seems to end?” I thought. As a result, sometimes I got bad grades. However, after succumbing to my marshmallows, I found myself not contented after my exams, and discovered how I was regretting the fact that I did not do my best.
From this experience, I have learned that although the “wait” in high school may seem long, doing my best and diligently collecting my marshmallows have their merits as I discovered in middle school. Looking back, I reflect that all the problems I have faced were a part of my maturation to grow up into an adult.
Now, I find myself in the end of my high school life. I may face difficulties, but I am positive that I will do my best to go through it. I am going to assemble my marshmallows for my dream, which is promoting Korea's culture and historic achievements as well as raising its international status.
“Your dream is coming true pretty soon!”
The quotation has taught me how to persevere for the right time and taught me one of the most important aspects of life.
Lee Eun-jeong is a senior at the Chinese department, Daewon Foreign Language High School in Seoul.