More couples favorable to living together before marriage

By Kim Tae-jong

Lee Mi-jung, a 30-year-old office worker, got married early this month, after living together for one year with her current husband. She thinks it helped the couple get to know each other better, before making the biggest commitment of their lives.

“We weren't worried about splitting up after living together before marriage, as we thought it would give us a chance to get to know each other and prepare for a successful marriage,” she said.

While living together, she got to know many new things about her boyfriend, and it helped them strengthen their bond, she said.

“Living together is a lot different from dating. You need to share, respect and understand more, and it was a valuable experience,” she said.

A recent survey also shows there are an increasing number of people like Kim who want to live with their partner before marriage.

The trend indicates the changing views on cohabitation, which was long been seen as “improper” in the heavily Confucius-indoctrinated Korean society.

In a survey by a local matchmaking site, I-um, about 60 percent of male respondents said they are positive about the idea while about 40 percent of females answered the same.

The survey was conducted on some 1,000 people aged between 20 and 40, and 95 male and 38 female respondents said they had experienced cohabitation.

Among those in favor of living together, about 80 percent said they believe it can help them get to know each other better. But most people who oppose it argued any separation could hurt them and their privacy should be protected, the matchmaking site said.

“The survey shows the changing attitude toward cohabitation among young people. They seem to think it can reduce the risk of failure in married life and divorce,” Shin Ji-eun, an official from I-um, said.

Experts also say that the younger generation has different views on relationships and marriage.

“The concept of marriage has been changing here, like in other Western countries, and a lot of young people put more weight on personal intimacy and relationships with their partner than the traditional family system after marriage,” said Lee Na-young, a professor at the Department of Sociology of ChungAng University.

But she pointed out that there are still risky parts to living together.

“It’s hard to simply say whether cohabitation is beneficial to couples, but it does have risky elements. For example, when women give birth during cohabitation and the couple splits, things can become complicated. Different from Western countries, single-parents in our country have a lot of difficulty in raising a child,” she said.

As the increase in the number of people favorable to living together shows a different and changing concept of marriage and family, the government should come up with necessary policies to minimize negative aspects, she said.

남성 60%, 여성 40%, 혼전동거에 대해 긍정적

30세 회사원인 이미정씨는 이번 달 초에, 1년간의 혼전 동거 생활을 끝내고 현재 남편과 결혼했다. 이씨는 결혼하기 전, 혼전 동거 기간이 서로를 더 잘 알 수 있게 했다고 생각한다.

“혼전 동거가 끝나고 해어질 걱정은 하지 않았습니다. 사실, 우리는 혼전 동거가 서로를 더 잘 알 수 있는 기회이며 성공적인 결혼 생활에 도움이 될 것이라고 생각했습니다”라고 이씨는 말했다.

최근 한 조사 결과에 따르면, 이씨처럼 혼전 동거를 하는 사람의 수가 늘고 있음을 보여주고 있다. 이러한 경향은 혼전 동거에 대한 새로운 인식을 나타내며, 과거 유교 문화가 깊게 뿌리 내린 한국 사회에서는 “부적절한” 일로 인식되던 것에 비하면 큰 변화이다.

소개팅 사이트인 이음의 조사 결과에 따르면, 약 60%의 남성과 40%의 여성이 혼전 동거에 긍정적이라고 대답했다.

조사는 20대와 30대의 남녀 1000명을 대상으로 한 것이며, 그 중 95명의 남성, 38명의 여성은혼전 동거 경험이 있다고 대답했다고 한다.

설문 조사 결과에서 보듯이, 전문가들은 젊은 세대는 남녀 관계나 결혼에 대해 다른 견해를 갖고 있다고 지적한다.

“결혼의 개념은 변화하고 있습니다. 서구 사회처럼 말이죠. 많은 젊은 사람들은 전통적 개념의가족보다는 개인간의 유대감이나 파트너와의 관계에 더 중점을 두고 있어 보입니다.”라고 중앙대 사회학교 이나영 교수는 말한다.

하지만, 동거 생활에도 위험한 요소가 있다고 지적한다.

“동거 생활이 커플들에게 도움이 된다 혹은 안된다고 쉽게 말하기는 어렵지만, 위험한 요소가 있는 것은 확실합니다. 예를 들어, 여성이 아이를 낳고, 남성과 헤어질 경우, 서양과 달리 홀로된 엄마나 아빠가 아이를 키우는 일이 서구 나라들과는 달리, 한국에서는 무척 어렵지요.”