My book club
It must be a sign of my age that I am invited these days more to memorial services than other types of gatherings. This time the memorial service was for one of the founding members of our book club.
The book club has been a big part of my social and community connection. Two dozen members have met every month for three decades at a member’s house. I was not particularly close to the person we were memorializing, but I respected his opinion, loved to hear his views on a given subject and shared a love for lifelong learning. We were curious, insightful and loved literature and sharing what we read with the people we cared about.
I have belonged to this book club for over 30 years. We read books, socialized through book discussions and shared our difficulties and joys about our friends, our children and our grandchildren. People have come and gone as is often the case with book clubs. Surprisingly, the book club was established 10 years prior to my participation. Over time, we watched our members’ children growing up; some got married; some member's marriages disintegrated, and some even got remarried. We watched the struggles of some of them with drug problems and other daily sagas. Nevertheless, we kept on meeting each month.
I do not know how typical our book club is, but one special thing is our book club does not necessarily require the members to read the book. Instead, the club requires the members to come prepared to have an opinion for or against the book, or the author, or to exchange ideas about the theme of the book. We do not have any shortage of opinionated, sometimes erudite and interesting conversations over wine and appetizers. In fact, some members often profess that they like the food more than the choice of book. I also agree with that sentiment at times.
What I enjoyed most was the wide range of books that the members suggested. Some titles I would never have selected myself even in my wildest dreams. Some members liked to read self-improvement books, others only liked fiction. I tend to like non-fiction and biographies. The titles suggested by this disparate group made the list of books rather interesting. The deceased member was like me, preferring non-fiction. He liked classical literature including Shakespeare or scientific non-fiction as his professional life reflected his choice of reading.
During the pandemic, we sustained our book discussions over Zoom, overcoming the technological challenges that some seniors experience. Eventually, technological integration became a part of our book club discussion activities. We helped each other. Some members joined this monthly meeting from far away.
I am saddened by the loss of a significant member of our long-lasting book club. I am awestruck at the news of other members moving to assisted living for retirement care. I am surprised to learn that some members have lost their vibrant spirits since the last time we met. All these changes I experienced at this memorial service made me realize how fleeting our lives can be. I am reminded of my mentor’s saying: "Enjoy every day while it lasts."
Shin Freedman (shinfreed@gmail.com) is an author, educator and writer.