For the late Mr. Moonbin
By Bernard Rowan
The other day while watching YouTube on my TV, I saw videos of some K-pop stars. Among them were several of the late Moonbin, and Sanha, dressed in purple and dancing to a song that seems popular recently. The song by See Tinh is called “Hoang Tuay Linh.” Her official video is good and reminds me both of a video by Pharrell and Katy Perry (“Feels”) with a dash or two of the divas Bebe Rexha and Doja Cat in “Baby I'm Jealous.”
Moonbin and Sanha danced well, and the crowd was so happy. I saw other videos about the See Tinh song. A few days later, I saw a clip that showed Sanha's sadness regarding Moonbin's death. It's possible that I read the April Korea Times story about his death by apparent suicide, but it struck me again. It's sad. I read what I could find online. I didn't find much so as to fully understand. Probably there's more in Korean and on social media platforms.
Last week, I read the Deauwand Myers article about “Korea and Perfection.” Koreans, are not necessarily all perfectionists, but do put great demands on themselves. I think Myers provides a lens on present-day Korea and some of the causes that lead to so many suicides. Advancement includes awareness of the limits and effects of advancement. Addressing suicide must be a greater priority in the wonderful country of Korea.
The government of President Yoon Suk Yeol works on trade, national and regional security and employment issues. However, all provincial, local, and city governments in Korea need to make the problem of suicide in Korea a much greater priority. Moonbin was a flower of Korea, and he joins too many others who have taken their lives.
I'm happy to read there is a memorial for Moonbin at Gukcheongsa temple and saw some related images. I hope to visit myself someday. I've viewed some of the touching tributes by fans, fellow artists, and by Moon SuA, his sister.
Too many “shoot for the stars” only to find life shoots back when we are by ourselves. There are many factors: loneliness and the felt absence of love from others; bullying, daily stress; peer pressure; prescription and recreational drugs; life pressures; lack of nutrition and rest; various forms of abuse; parental and societal expectations; wanting to and making oneself do more than one should do, and on and on. I hope Koreans and people around the world know we need to learn the real stories behind the suicides so as to fight the problem properly. Shame and pride cover up what could save another person's life.
It's time to face the “han” (deep sorrow and longing) that surrounds too many lives in Korea and inclines too many to commit suicide. It's not just a youth problem either. It's a social reality that needs 21st-century attention, using 21st-century methods. I read that in a recent year half of all deaths of young people happened because of suicides. The World Health Organization (WHO) names suicide as the fourth leading cause of death in the world for young people between 10 and 19 years old. The problem grows and grows for the next generations of adults.
The search for perfection, fame or just an ordinary adulthood should make us realize that no one can be perfect, no one is famous forever, and adulthood is more fundamental than unmitigated success. We have limits. There is much we don't control. Those who push too far court disaster. Self-love wants perspective. I'm convinced that too many cues and social realities incline us away from proper self-love. Rousseau and others warn us about self-regard based on what others think of us.
In a WHO fact sheet on mental health and adolescents, I saw mention of coping skills. Life isn't easy. It may have difficult times. How to deal with that felt or actual reality is something parenting and managers need to get into a lot more. Leaving people to themselves isn't doing the job. Schools, governments, jobs, churches and religious communities and social organizations have much work to do. Each of us owes our friends, colleagues, and loved ones the basic care to spot signs of trouble and learn how not to say and do something that saves lives. We owe it to the late Mr. Moonbin. I think his life of making others happy deserves nothing less than an all-out response.
Bernard Rowan (browan10@yahoo.com) is associate provost for contract administration and academic services and professor of political science at Chicago State University. He is a past fellow of the Korea Foundation and former visiting professor at Hanyang University.