A promise is a promise
By Kim Jeong-kyoo
A few weeks ago, I went through an unpleasant experience: an acquaintance retracted his words numerous times, eventually reneging on his promise to me. Before that incident, I did not know that broken promises could leave us hurting that much. He appallingly changed his mind seven times over two days, prompting me to reflect on the importance of promises.
One can hardly imagine a human relationship without promises. A promise implies that you will keep your word or stay true to it under any circumstances. You cannot expect a good human relationship with someone who neglects to keep their promises. A promise kept may well lessen the anxiety that comes from all the uncertainties of the pandemic era, and embalm our hearts.
People's trust in you can blossom or wither through their experiences shared with you. When you keep your promise and behave consistently, their faith in you flourishes. Breaking your promises, however, will drive people to break their bonds with you.
Breaking your promise implies that you did not think enough before making the promise, or don't care about letting people down. A breach of a promise also means that you place your needs above others.
Promises come in two types: you can offer to do something or to accept someone's request. Once you've made a promise, you need to honor it no matter what. You need to honor your promise even when people pressure you to do the opposite.
Incidentally, another person's request being impossible to defy can compel you to breach a promise. But you need to show them your grit, always keeping faith with your principles and values.
Every time you give your word, you're putting or staking your honor on the promise. Making a promise implies that others can place their trust in you because you will honor it. Promising also indicates that you value fidelity and integrity, and will never let them down.
When people know you stick to integrity, they will believe exactly what you say. When that happens, you can take great pride in yourself, enjoying real bliss. You know that your conscience is clear.
Some may think that they may neglect to keep their word. The world would not turn upside down. Still, a promise is a promise. You cannot preserve a friendly relationship unless you keep your promise. Neglecting to live up to a promise means tarnishing your credibility, damaging your personal integrity and defaming your reputation. Critically, it is about letting oneself down.
Breaking a big promise can wreck your relationship with others; reneging on a small promise breeds doubt about your behavior in the future. Importantly, breaking a small promise can lead to violating a bigger one. Breaking a small promise can lead you to start making light of or ignoring your promises without hesitation or pangs of guilt.
If you make a promise, keep it. You should always hold deep in your mind what it means to other people and yourself.
The author (kimjstar@hanmail.net) lives in a rural village near Seoul, studying and teaching golf.