When I escaped to South Korea, I felt guilt

Gettyimagesbank

By Casey Lartigue Jr.

• Published Mar 21, 2021 4:09 PM KST
• Updated Mar 22, 2021 7:22 AM KST

Park Sung-ae is a North Korean refugee who escaped to South Korea in 2008. She recently graduated from college, majoring in journalism and new media. Here's an excerpt from an interview she had recently with the Freedom International Speakers (FSI) in Seoul. ― Ed.

By Park Sung-ae

FSI:

What do you think about Korean reunification?

Park: When I was a university student, I couldn't understand why South Koreans were against reunification. However, after living in South Korea for more than 10 years, I can understand that there are various reasons to be opposed to it.

It started with a documentary about the Korean War. A person in the documentary, Yoo Bok-ja, said when her mother was pregnant with her, that her father was stabbed to death with a spear by a North Korean soldier. There are people still alive who lost their parents, siblings and friends during the war. They still have sadness they couldn't get over. It's hard for them to like North Koreans and reunification.

There are others who have never been to nor experienced North Korea. They are not even familiar with North Korean refugees. Many people would be at a loss if they suddenly had to unify with people from an unknown world. Fear of the unknown, I guess. That's the reason why I started my YouTube Channel. North Korean defectors, who were born and raised in North Korea, are your neighbors. A person like me is living beyond the border as well, and that's the thing I wanted to share in my channel.

If everyone agrees about reunification, that's dictatorship, not democracy. Right? I agree that people can have negative opinions of reunification. But if we can unify with conversation, we must do it. If we can find out how to coexist peacefully, that would be a good thing, too.

What does reunification mean to you?

Park: There are many definitions of reunification, but for me it is being able to travel back to my hometown and to see how my neighbors are doing. Visiting Musan in North Hamgyong Province where I was born and raised, naturally we could have conversations like, “How are you, I'm fine, I'll come again soon.” “My home in South Korea is nice. You can come anytime.”

What can North Korean defectors do to help make Korean reunification a reality?

Park: What we can do for reunification is... It's a burdensome description when people say that North Korean defectors are “unification that came earlier.” I don't even know who started to refer to us in that way, and I don't agree with that label. I guess we are the “neighbors who came earlier.” “The neighbors who we are able to meet.” I believe that's true unification, the unification desired by people.

What kind of person do you want to be?

Park: I want to live as an ordinary person. That's my wish. I just want to be healthy both physically and mentally... If we reunify, or if I can peacefully go to North Korea, then I want to go there and see how my friends changed and how they live.

I want to tell them when I first escaped to South Korea, I felt guilt.

I couldn't tell my friends that I was going to escape. I couldn't tell my teacher either. After I escaped, they appeared in my nightmares telling me, “You abandoned us.” I really want to tell them that it wasn't as good as I expected things to be, but escaping was worth it. I want to tell them that I have a good experience and life. That's what I really want to be able to say to them.

When I first escaped to South Korea, I felt guilty/Interview with SungAe - YouTube

The interview was assisted and edited by Casey Lartigue Jr., co-president of Freedom Speakers International and the editor of "

Voices from the North

."