Envy makes world go round
By Adam Borowski
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Meeting someone who puts your English to shame is a frustrating experience. Your English isn't as stellar as you thought. See that snake over there, slithering in the shadows? Yeah, that one. It's our old friend ― envy. Just like a demon, envy creeps into your mind, just to take over your thought processes. Envy takes you down a path of psychological perdition by making you constantly compare yourself to others, whispering “you're not good enough” in your ear.
Envy gets much stronger if you're in a milieu that constantly emphasizes your weaknesses by putting others on a pedestal as shining examples of success. Parents who favor one child over another is a common theme. Parents usually mean well, but their critique skills are akin to a “bull in a china shop.”Your sense of self-worth must be internalized. If others realize you rely on them for validation, you're their psychological puppet. By constantly comparing yourself to the “winners,” i.e., the idealized validation source, envy has a tight grip on you. You'll never be good enough, because you're chasing a mental mirage. If you're smart, you know which aspects of your life need improving ― as well as who's worth listening to.
Envy-possessed individuals go to absurd lengths in obsessing over your success. They will analyze every single comment you post on social media. They deliberately downplay your success by feigning “concern.” They want to see you fail, because they get to play the hero while you're forced to be the damsel-in-distress. Better yet, they'd love to see you congratulate them ― through gritted teeth ― for getting a promotion you've been gunning for. After the ritualistic humiliation is complete, you're no longer someone to be envied. In their minds, you're now a mere simulacrum of your former self. Their mission is complete.
Wouldn't it be expedient to admire those who are more successful than you? If you meet someone who's an excellent English speaker ― imitate their English. Mirror it. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery for a reason. If you're well-versed in the art of the compliment, you can turn many enemies into friends. A clever compliment goes a long way.
Let's look at the macro scale now. In the first scenario ― admiration ― a poor country looks up to its rich neighbor, hoping to achieve the same level of economic development one day. In the second scenario ― envy ― the poor country's government keeps psychologically bombarding its citizens with omnipresent propaganda, thereby brainwashing its own people into believing the rich neighbor is the enemy. The “envy scenario” almost always fails.
They say money and love make the world go round. It's time to add the third member to the “unholy alliance,” to make our understanding of the human condition complete. Envy. The mother of assassinations, intrigues and wars. The holiday season brings families together. It's a joyous time of the year, but envy's always there, lurking in the shadows, waiting to creep into the mind. Don't let envy win: stick with love and money instead. If you fail, Santa's going to leave you a lump of coal in your stocking.
Adam Borowski (adam.borowski1985@gmail.com) teaches English to students at all levels of advancement. His short novel can be found at: https://existentialtableau.wordpress.com/2018/01/14/existential-tableau/