Advice from a palm tree
By Hyon O’Brien
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We just returned from a 25 day-long vacation cruise in the South Pacific, ending in Sydney. I must have taken at least 5,000 pictures during the trip. And more than 10 percent of those photos were of palm trees. My fascination with palm trees began in October 1969 in Hilo, Hawaii the instant that I saw real palm trees for the first time. I was one of the Korean language teachers hired for a Peace Corps training program that was held in Pepekeo, a little town about 30 minutes outside of Hilo in the middle of sugar cane fields. I think the “love at first sight” phenomenon happens only a few times in one’s lifetime, and yet beholding the palm trees there was that breathtaking “wow” moment I still vividly remember. I knew I was looking at “my tree.”
The fact that we retired to Florida seven years ago after 14 years in Asia may have something to do with the palm trees and the warm tropical weather that goes with them.
Surfing the internet for thoughts on palm trees, I was delighted to find “Advice from a Palm Tree.” Here are four out of the six suggestions from this anonymous palm tree ― maybe one of them is worth a try:
Soak up the sun:
All living things need the sun to survive. Some of us have to take vitamin D to supplement our body’s demand that isn’t met because of indoor work. Living in the Sunshine State I had been confident that I was getting enough vitamin D. However, a blood test revealed a deficiency despite my outdoor walks and biking. So, in addition to taking a vitamin D pill every day, I try to extend the time I spend outdoors in order to increase the natural opportunity for my body to manufacture vitamin D. In this I am unlike most Korean women, who generally avoid the sun. They want to stay as light-skinned as possible. Even those who go out to play golf cover themselves so thoroughly that they look like they are starring in a science fiction film. Whenever I meet close Korean friends, they never fail to check whether I’ve become too dark by living under the southern Florida sun. Will they ever be liberated from that obsession of “upper class” skin tone and enjoy the sun to the fullest?
Remember your roots:
When I left Korea in 1969, one of the things I promised myself was that I would always remember that I am a Korean and that I must represent Korea well to the world. I also think back to where I came from: In the early 60s, my hometown of Wonju was not a place where daughters were educated equally with sons. The fact that I was sent to college was unusual forward thinking on the part of my father, who could have rejected the idea of sending his daughters to university. I really appreciate my father’s generosity and wisdom. Wherever I’ve gone throughout the years that I have been away from Korea, I have tried to behave as an unofficial representative of Korea. I have tried to show Korea through me, with the theory that I might be the only Korean that this particular person who interacted with me has ever met. It has been a tough challenge but I know I will continue to act in this vein.
Stand tall and proud:
I have to confess that there were times when I couldn’t stand tall, when I didn’t act proud of myself. I was uncertain of a new culture, a new language, and the nuances of a way of life different from Korea. From the beginning I noticed myself being judgmental about American sexual freedom, promiscuity, materialism and wastefulness. But it was important to incorporate the good things of the American way of life and retain the good things of my Korean cultural upbringing. I think I’ve treated my parents-in-law with more respect and mindfulness because of my Korean background. I think I say more frequently “I love you, thank you, forgive me and I am sorry” because I have learned from Americans to be more generous with these expressions, and I admired them and wanted to make them my own.
Contend with your natural beauty:
I read somewhere that when Korean women die and go to heaven’s gate, St. Peter asks for a picture I.D. because their faces have been so altered by plastic surgery that they are unrecognizable. Korea has become famous around the world as the place to go for cosmetic surgery.
For years, I was not happy with the shape of my nose. Too wide and flat. However, now that I have been loved by the same loving husband for nearly 50 years, I can actually disregard these thoughts when and if they come.
Finally I take this opportunity to thank palm trees for giving me so much joy all these years. Thank you for your non-stop visual delights. Thank you for being “my tree.”
Hyon O'Brien (hyonobrien@gmail.com) is a former reference librarian now living in the United States.