Practicing forgiveness
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By Choe Chong-dae
It was remarkable that the late former President Kim Dae-jung reconciled and forgave his political opponents who tried to kill him. Demonstrating love and a spirit of generosity, he forgave his enemies, past Presidents Chun Doo-hwan and Roh Tae-woo, by approving their release from prison soon after he himself was elected to the highest office in the nation in December 1997. Former President Kim also proposed the Memorial Library for the late President Park Chung-hee which was established in 2012. Kim was a dissident leader and an outspoken critic of Park’s authoritarian rule during the 1960-70s. He had been kidnapped and nearly killed by secret agents of Park’s government in 1973.
Another notable act of forgiveness and reconciliation was shown by former President Chun Doo-hwan who paid respects to the late President Kim Young-sam at a memorial altar in Seoul on Nov 25. Chun was Kim’s political foe. Chun and Roh Tae-woo (Chun’s successor) were imprisoned by Kim for mutiny and treason in 1995.
I recently came across an anthology of stories collected by Brian Cavanaugh, a Franciscan friar, called “Sower’s Seed of Encouragement: Fifth Planting (1998).”
In it, I found an anonymous vignette about a communal ritual of forgiveness and social healing practiced by the Bemba people of Zambia. I paraphrase: “If a member acts irresponsibly, he or she is placed in the center of the village, alone and unshackled. All work stops. Every man, woman and child in the village gathers around the accused in a circle. Each villager, one at a time, and regardless of age, testifies to every good thing ever done by the accused in his or her lifetime. All his positive traits, good deeds, strengths and acts of kindness are recalled and recited carefully and at length. Not a word of criticism is allowed. The ceremony often lasts several days. At the end of the recantation, the circle is broken and a joyous celebration takes place. The member is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the village.”
This way of positive reinforcement, rather than retribution, strengthens the self-esteem of the accused and leads him or her to live up to the social expectations of the group.
I take this extraordinary ritual of forgiveness of delinquency as a beautiful example of unconditional love. The belief that “human nature is fundamentally good” is applied to resolving antisocial behavior. The Bemba tribe believes that every human being comes into the world as good, each of us desiring, safety, love, peace and happiness. However, in the pursuit of personal profit, we sometimes make mistakes. Bad behavior is considered an accident and the ceremony is to remind a person of their own good nature. The tribe regards misdeeds as a cry for help. They forgive criminal behavior and social deviance by banding together harmoniously and embracing them in order to mend social fissures.
It is easy to point out another’s shortcomings rather than offering them our love and wisdom, however modest it may be. Many people, if not most, rush to condemn and punish when they are wronged. Acts of wrongdoing should never be ignored or justified. You are responsible for your actions. However, we must forgive perpetrators when they sincerely repent. Nevertheless, sociopaths who lack conscience need to be restrained to prevent heinous atrocities. I believe the power of forgiveness can play a significant role in reducing crime. Healing is more effective than punishment. People who practice forgiveness are healthier and happier than those who are burdened by resentment.
The generous “community forgiveness” ceremony of the Bemba tribe in Zambia is a model that can help guide us.
The writer is the president of Dae-kwang International and a director of the Korean-Swedish Association. Reach him at dkic98@chol.com.