Plague of the subways
By Adam Oppegaard
I give up! For the past two months I have been pushed, elbowed, grabbed, shoved, and received so many scowls from others that I’m beginning to regret ever entering the gauntlet we call ``line number 2.”
But yet again, I’m on the 5:45 a.m. subway to Gangnam. As I get on, nobody moves, everyone seems unwilling to give up their position near the door. Annoyed, I stare hard in the eyes of one of the gentlemen in my way. He begrudgingly moves to the side and lets me past. Hoping to cause myself little stress this morning, I go to the other side of the subway car away from opening doors.
We pass many stations with people constantly getting on meeting the same fate. As we stop at Seoul National University of Education Station, the group of people closest to the doors makes a small passage for the exiting passengers, but once they have exited, they quickly lung at the closing doors; everyone bumping, pushing. The whole scene reminds me of eight-year-old elementary school students rushing to the classroom door and fighting for position to be the first one out.
Once everyone has adjusted themselves into position, the anticipation for the coming event creates a tense atmosphere. Then it happens, we stop and the doors to Gangnam open. Everyone rushes out like runners off the starting blocks. The pushing resumes within the crowd, as I calmly step out of the car, reluctant to join of the group. I stand back and look over the members of the group, trying to understand why they act with such discourtesy. But I notice something; a commonality. They are predominately elderly.
Over the years my students have commented on the insensitivity of other subway passengers. After awhile, I asked about the transgressors and nearly all the students relay stories of the elderly. I hear about the elderly yelling into their cell phones, gossiping loudly without concern for others passengers, and being overly aggressive towards the younger generation.
Even I have my own experiences though I am resistant to share because I don’t want to single out an entire group. I’ve seen elderly women and men screaming at each other in subway stations, older women much smaller in stature elbowing younger men in the back to get them to move, fist fights between intoxicated retirees, and have received so many shots to the groin from elderly women’s bags that I might not be able to have children.
Where does this behavior come from? Some say it originates from the history of Korea. When they were children, Korea was suffering. Korea had finally achieved their independence from Japanese occupation just to enter into another violent war which split Korea into two, leaving both virtually the poorest countries in the world.
I’ve heard at that time if you received three meals a day which included rice, you were lucky. I assume living through these rough times created a highly competitive mentality, like a survival instinct, where one disregards the discomfort of strangers and focuses on personal gains.
Me: ``Why don’t you say something when the person disturbs you?”
Student: ``I want to, but we can’t.”
Me: ``I don’t understand.”
Student: ``They’re older than me. I must tolerate it.”
This is a conversation I’ve had on numerous occasions with students. This idea that a person who’s younger should, without question, show respect and tolerate social injustices committed by others who are older, originated from a traditional ideology which has been the foundation of social interaction in Korea for hundreds of years; Confucianism. However, I fear the elderly might be taking advantage of this ideology, and future altercations may arise as the younger generation becomes more egalitarian.
Personally, I believe the elderly should be respected. If it wasn’t for them the younger generation wouldn’t be here. And we benefit daily from their previous effort and accomplishments. For that I thank them. I personally will continue to give up my seat to any person who is weary from their travels. However tolerance and respect has its limits.
One motto stated time and time again is ``if you want respect, give respect.” We as a society shouldn’t take advantage of or take for granted the kindness others shows us, even if they are obligated through a continuing ideology.
The writer has been living in Korea since 2006; working primarily as an English teacher in southern Seoul. He has a master’s degree in applied psychology and can be reached at www.frankforeigner.blogspot.com.