More to lose

By Gulliver Alumbro Jr.

``In pursuit of grander and greater tangible things, there is more to lose in the essence of life." ― Gilbert Albertstone

Feelings of hopelessness, sadness and helplessness amount to depression. Some people with depressive disorders commit suicide. Life, like an empty meaningless vessel, is cast away. Everyone enters into a depressive state from time to time. Questions abound. What could make a person disregard precious life?

There are times when life hits you with a series of mishaps. ``Murphy's Law," they call it. One decision tumbles into another faulty one.

The taking of one's life is most regrettable.

I wonder what goes through the minds of people who had taken their own lives. Some writers, just like my Dad, idolize Hemingway. Others criticize the American author, saying he should have held on to life. Imagine the countless stories he could have written if he didn't commit suicide.

Achieving happiness is never easy as controlling one's life. Several factors affect our daily lives externally: family, relatives, friends, community, economy, fashion, work, media, among others, any of which can influence our level of happiness or lead to depression. A word dropped carelessly can wreak havoc on a person's day. A just compliment can shine for several. Internally, we deal with our psyche: mind and soul ― weighing happiness over depression. Or vice versa.

We may appreciate an inspiring thought or positive compliment each day, although at times, we inevitably encounter negative people: selfish, scheming, bitter, vengeful, sensitive, jealous, tactless, etc.

Being more of a positive person requires being surrounded by positive people who emit positive thoughts and ideas. They smoothly deflect negative energies or sentiments and convert them to positive ones. They are characterized by being resourceful, hard-working, reliable, trustworthy, innovative, righteous, responsible and upright. They are also instantly appealing, likable and effortlessly charming.

Negative people, though, are not to be dispensed with entirely, for life is a cycle. We might just need their help or assistance in the immediate future because the turns and twists of fate can be playful. The people we meet now are the people we might meet again in the future. Bridges of friendships with negative people should never be burned but instead avoided or circumvented.

Thus, a person contemplating suicide should search for a friend for guidance and advice. If the friend is oozing with negativity, the advice might be detrimental. Should the friend on the other hand be of sound reasoning, a life could be saved. Friendship in all its glory actually takes time. It is not the number of secrets confided which strengthens friendship but the investment of time and honesty given unwillingly. It is not making the walls of friendship higher or risking it from toppling over but rather making its foundation deeper in order to keep it standing. Friendships which stand the test of time are not to be based entirely on each other's dependence but on inter-dependence: to exist separately and co-exist.

Several decades ago, with fewer gadgets, life was happier and suicide less common. Without any hindrance in face to face conversations (i.e. the constant ringing or vibration of a cell phone), people could put more effort into hearty discussions. Conversations then were neither disrupted nor disturbed; they were more meaningful in effect. Quality friendships over quantity prevailed. Unequivocally, honor, morals and values were regarded more important then as compared to now.

The world is so fast paced that people rush into establishing friendships ― a current global trend. Social networks are prevalent. Maybe it is true what they say that technology makes us drift apart. More than we are aware of. With all the technology at our disposal, why is it that people feel more depressed?

Nowadays, personal advancement in status or career is probable yet personal satisfaction seems unattainable. The rule of human wants, human needs: The more we want, the more we need. Satisfaction is improbable. Assuming one had a billion dollars, what's next? Money is not a justifiable goal in life but merely a tool towards happiness. Money though a necessity is meaningless in substance.

Life is happier in a simpler way. The simple things in life are actually free. A positive attitude, outlook or perspective in life can overcome obstacles no matter how hard they are. Rainbows appear after the rain.

Happiness like love is known only by people who know how to give without expecting something in return. Only humans have the absolute free will to give wholeheartedly. How we appreciate and love the people around us in our daily lives, make life beautiful and worth living.

Suicide is actually a selfish and deplorable act depriving a parent, a bother or a sister of a family member. The most painful thing that can happen to a person in life is when a parent outlives a child.

Every breath is a precious gift. Life is a treasure in itself. There is no greater gift than the love we give ourselves and our loved ones by living life to the fullest.

The writer is a food technologist, with a bachelor of law and currently teaching conversational English at Sisa English Language School in Gyeongsan, North Gyeongsang Province. He may be reached at gulliverkorea@yahoo.com.