A 3,000-Won Envelope

By Lee Eun-pyo

Lent is a 40-day period before Easter. In the Roman Catholic Church, Lent officially ends on April 9, Holy Thursday, with the beginning of the Mass of the Lord's Supper. Lent is to be a season of soul searching and repentance. It is a period to prepare for Easter and by observing its 40 days. Each Christian imitates Jesus' withdrawal into the wilderness for those 40 days.

In many countries, the last day before Lent (called Mardi Gras or Carnival) has become a last fling before the solemnity of Lent. Eating meat has been abstained from during Lent, and that is why in some countries the festival is called ``Carnival," Latin for ``farewell to meat."

Ay the start of Lent this year, the priest in my church distributed a 3,000-won envelope to every parishioner. Our mission was to spend it with some additional money out of our pockets for the needy and to write a letter to God describing what we felt after helping other people. Three thousand won is a symbolic amount with which anyone can come up with by saving a 100-won coin a day for a month. It is the spirit of sharing with the less privileged by setting something aside for others, such as saving a 100 won coin for each meal has been a campaign of the Daejeon Diocese since last year.

But getting such an envelope from church was unusual, and how and who to help with how much was still puzzling. There also remained some questions as to what and when. So I just let the envelope sit on my desk for a while.

One Saturday morning, I rode the subway to Daejeon Station for the task. When I got off, I started to wander around. How to approach a person in need of help seemed awkward, so I was just walking, looking around.

There were many elderly ``ajummas" selling various vegetables, fruits, potatoes, yams, and other produce. I took a close look at each one if there were any signs of extreme poverty or handicap or any discomfort. It felt like a snobbish thing to look for someone to help for a task.

It was over a half an hour into my walking that a beggar came onto my radar. He was lying down on his belly on moving board, reeling himself forward. Feeling it was a good chance to help, I quickly opened my purse and gave him some bills, mumbling timidly, ``This is for your lunch today."

Then I crossed the busy street to look for other candidates for free lunches. Near the front gate of the station, there was a terribly shabby looking man. He looked as if he hadn't washed himself for months. He couldn't even open his eyes due to lots of discharge from them. I asked him if he'd be delighted had I given him lunch money. He didn't seem to understand the meaning of ``delighted." His life seemed too harsh to feel excited or delighted. He seemed nonchalant about the money and there was no gratitude. He was merely alive rather than living a life.

Two giveaways did not make me pleased at all. It was too depressing to see the misery of other human beings. Free lunch money wouldn't solve anything nor really help them. I was feeling even worse than before I came. I went on walking again. Then there was an old woman who was selling botanical roots.

Perhaps her entire roots would've given her tens of thousand won if she'd sold everything. But she looked so peaceful and gentle that I was drawn to her. I asked if she had brought lunch from home. She said she'd had hearing problems and smiled. I gave her money with a warm smile gesturing her to eat. She offered me some of her roots but I politely turned her down. This time, her genuine smile on her wrinkled face made me happy about giving away free lunch money.

An hour to give away free lunch money was quite an experience. There may be many people in need of care and assistance. But most of us are too busy with ourselves to really care for others. I thought about making it an on-going ritual of my Saturday more often.

That trip reminded me of Cardinal Stephen's last words: ``Thank you for all the love. I was happy. Be happy. Love and forgive." They were similar to Pope John Paul II's legacy: ``I am happy. You be happy, too." The 3,000-won envelope was a seed for more happiness.

The writer is an English professor at Eulji University. She can be reached at elee@eulji.ac.kr.