Transitioning to the toddler bed
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Ellen, left, and Ann love their new bed, but aren’t ready to sleep in it alone just yet. / Courtesy of Jane Han
By Jane Han
As kids grow up, there are certain things parents often contemplate whether to buy or not.
From toddler tricycles to best-selling children’s book sets, these random things ― which at that moment look absolutely necessary for the child’s physical, emotional and intellectual well-being ― just keep popping up, one after another.
But let me tell you, if you resist the temptation by practicing as much self-control as you possibly can, you’ll soon realize that your little one is doing just fine without whatever it is after all.
This is one of the few things I am proud to say I’ve done successfully throughout my short parenting career thus far.
I do mull over some things here and there, but eight out of 10 times, I keep my wallet closed.
But last week, I succumbed.
I went to IKEA and spent a little over $400 on a toddler bed and mattress. I even bought one of those cute canopy tents that’s supposed to make sleeping ``fun.’’
This is a purchase I’ve been debating and pushing off for quite some time because bringing in a new bed for the twins wasn’t just about furniture. It meant bigger, deeper changes.
Until recently, both my husband and I have been sleeping in Ellen and Ann’s bedroom as they would wake up several times at night looking for either of us.
I know a ton of parents complain about co-sleeping, but I honestly enjoyed it.
Most children eventually want to sleep alone, so I thought why not cherish these precious nighttime moments while I can.
But then our youngest Lauren began wanting to join in on the fun after she co-slept with the family during our month-long summer vacation.
Now that’s five of us in one room. That’s way too much carbon dioxide in one room. And so we decided it’s time to make the transition, for them to sleep on their own.
We got rid of the queen-sized bed in the girls’ room to make space for the new bed and went straight to shopping.
Ellen and Ann were super eager and excited.
They’ve been increasingly envious of their friends’ bedrooms that were nicely decorated so they were ready to see their own room get a little upgrade.
We’ve been to IKEA at least a half a dozen times just to look at toddler beds so there wasn’t much to think about. We purchased the largest toddler bed there.
The girls were so psyched about sleeping without mom and dad that I was almost feeling a little sad to see them that eager to separate from us.
They cheered on dad the whole two hours it took him to assemble the bed.
Everything was finally set up and all three girls were jumping on the bed as happy as they could be.
And finally bedtime came around.
We did our usual bedtime routine and, as promised, tucked them in, dimmed the lights and walked out of the room.
By the way, Lauren’s crib is also situated in the same room.
As soon as we closed the door, I could hear sniffling, which slowly escalated to full-on crying.
I walked back in and asked what’s up.
To my surprise, the two calmly explained to me that they are not ready to sleep alone because they’re scared. They requested that I stay by their side until they fall asleep.
The request was so eloquently made that I had to accept it.
All three girls fell asleep in about 15 minutes and I spent that time catching up on news and social media.
Not bad. Not bad, at all.
I gave each of the girls a kiss and went to my room, the master bedroom, which has been left pretty much unused since we moved to our new house a year ago.
It felt awfully weird lying there without the girls rubbing against my skin.
But before I can feel much more, I passed out as usual. I think it typically takes me less than two minutes to fall asleep these days.
I’d say one of the perks of being a stay at home mom is that you never have to worry about insomnia. If it takes more than two minutes to fall asleep that means that day was a very good day.
And so, that first night, I fell asleep feeling free and melancholic all at once.
But the melancholic part quickly went away as soon as I woke up to both Ellen and Ann’s legs somehow resting on my chest at around 3 a.m.
So this is what other experienced mom friends have been talking about.
Transitioning to a toddler bed is easy, keeping them there is tough.
Some people advise parents to escort their children straight back to their bed, but I wasn’t going to do that.
Not only was I too sleepy, but I enjoyed cuddling with them way too much.
It’s been a little over a week now and I think we’re already making some good progress without forcing anything on the girls.
From the all-too-famous cry it out to tear-free approaches, there are plenty of sleep-training techniques. My readers know I have a good share of experience with many of these methods.
At this point, after going through a whole lot in the sleeping department over the past three years with my three kids, I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing is important enough to keep a child crying for an extended period of time.
When it comes to raising children, nothing lasts forever and I’m already witnessing that daily with my little ones.
OK, I sound like I am in my Godly moment.
Let’s see if I can keep up with this state of mind if the girls continue to invade my room night after night.