Saying goodbye to the nanny
By Jane Han
Ah, so this is it. After all the anticipation and anxiety that’s been building up for the past month, the time has finally come. The time to part ways with our beloved nanny.
Also the time for me to be on my own.
My children and I have so far gone through four nannies (all of whom we’ve parted with because of a move or long-term travel to and from Korea), so I’m somewhat used to saying farewell to a caregiver.
But this time, things are sort of different. I plan on going solo ― doing without the five hours of daily help ― for the next couple months until the twins begin preschool two days a week starting in September.
Even when they start school, they’ll be home three days a week along with my little rascal Lauren, so I expect to have my hands fuller than they already are without the extra hand.
So why did I decide that now is the time to go independent? Of all times, especially when Lauren has dramatically transformed into a mini monster while Ellen and Ann can’t stand a day being home?
Frankly, employing a nanny in the U.S. is not small money.
It costs almost a month’s worth of full-time pay in Korea to get half as much help here.
I was lucky to get help for the past three years, but I added it up and it seemed like both hiring a part-time nanny and sending the children to school ― even if it’s just twice a week ― meant spending a little too much on childcare.
After much thinking, I decided that I’d suck it up and try to entertain and educate the three girls as much as I can.
In preparation of saying goodbye to our nanny, who’s also become a good friend over the past 14 months, I thought about what I’d miss most.
Where would I start? There’s just so much.
Every morning when she walked in at precisely 9 a.m., she would come to the rescue of all sorts. I’d be taking Ellen to the potty, when Ann claims she needs to go to the potty, like, now, all when Lauren appears to be pulling off her diaper after pooping.
In moments like this, the nanny truly looks like an angel to me, with halo and all.
Ellen and Ann need to leave the house at least once a day to burn off their energy, which isn’t at all difficult for me. But when you throw Lauren into the mix, we suddenly have a dangerous situation.
Lauren is all over the place, incomparable to her sisters so I find it nearly impossible to keep a close eye on all three, which is why I usually keep Lauren home while the other two and I go out for a few hours.
That way, everyone gets their share of fun.
But starting next week, we’ll all be in it together. I need to work out the details, but we’re going to make it happen.
Things like this, along with bathing, cooking and other day-to-day tasks have been so much easier on me with a friendly and energetic nanny, or “imo” (aunt in English), by my side.
But interestingly, hands-on work is not what I’ll miss most.
I am going to wholeheartedly miss interacting with another adult, besides my husband, on a daily basis.
Fellow moms would understand.
Sometimes, all that a mom needs is a normal adult conversation with another adult.
If you’re a SAHM (stay at home mom), there will be times you realize that you haven’t had an adult conversation in days.
A few days here and there is fine, but it can’t be healthy if this goes on for too long.
I’ll have to make an extra effort to keep my adult social life active, although that is probably the last thing that’s going to be on my to-do list.
I feel like I’m about to enter a whole new territory of parenting.
I’m not sure what to expect and how the children will handle separating from their imo, but this is a transition we were bound to make at one point or another, so I’m ready to take the plunge.
I have a feeling my next entry is going to be full of excitement.
Until next time.