Growing up as third child
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By Jane Han
From potty training to first day of school, there have been so many firsts for the twins over the past couple weeks that I almost forgot about Baby C. Not just saying ― really.
Poor Baby C, this little one is sort of a mix between second and third child, thanks to her twin sisters.
At just three months, the twins were already dressed up in cute little outfits, introduced to infant books and toys, entertained with bouncers, swings, mobiles and all sorts of cool baby stuff. They pretty much ruled the house.
Baby C, now just short of three months, has it quite different.
No fancy clothes, no picture snapping every other minute, no tiptoeing around the house when she sleeps. She’s pretty much left in peace in her crib with all kinds of hand-me-downs.
I’d be lucky to hear her little whimper over all the noise produced by her two sisters.
Now do I feel bad for my newest born?
Yes and no.
Sure, Baby C isn’t always at the center of attention. She gets stuck with a bunch of used stuff and there isn’t as much excitement in seeing her coo for the first time when, frankly, it’s the third time for us.
She may feel some level of resentment when she finds out about this later on, but I’m already seeing the benefits of growing up with siblings.
I know it’s too early to tell considering the girl has only lived 85 days, but it’s becoming more obvious that she’s already learned ― perhaps even mastered ― how to adjust to the tough realities of life.
Hey, at one point, we all need to teach our kids that the world doesn’t always revolve around them. It sucks to accept the fact that they won’t always get things their way. But too bad, they’ll need to learn, and the sooner it is, the better.
For Baby C, the lesson came pretty darn early. By no choice, she’s already learned how to fit in.
Here’s a simple difference between the twins and the newborn _ the twins still wake up at night once or twice, but the smallest one is already sleeping straight through for eight to nine hours. Yes, without any nighttime feedings.
Can I get a hallelujah?
Mom friends envy me and ask how I’ve ``trained’’ Baby C to sleep through the night so quickly.
I tell them, have two other siblings and reality will do all the training.
For the twins, my husband and I attempted all kinds of sleep training techniques.
From cry-it-out to tear-free approaches, sleep training was a nightmare for all of us. The result? We’re still semi co-sleeping with the girls and they still wake up a few times crying for mommy.
It really is no fun.
So with not much choice, Baby C’s earliest days began by sleeping alone. Since my husband isn’t with me here in Korea, I’m in charge of all three at night. I can’t physically be in two rooms at once so she ended up being left alone at times.
Maybe that’s what did the trick. I didn’t or, more accurately, couldn’t respond to Baby C’s each and every cry when the other two was crying louder, and worse, wandering out of their room and waking up everyone in the house.
The first few times, I was utterly frustrated and guilty that I wasn’t able to immediately cater to the newborn. With the twins, I remember my husband and I waking up to the tiniest noises they make and checking on them to make sure they were alive.
As first-time parents, we must’ve been nervous that something may happen to them.
Now, as an experienced mom, I know that the baby will be just fine. In fact, the baby is doing even better since she’s been getting uninterrupted sleep early on around her two-month mark.
I’m sure things won’t always be this way come teething time, but for now, I’m not complaining.
The sleeping difference is just one of many differences I’m noticing between the third baby and the older two.
I’m looking forward to discovering how Baby C will grow up fitting in to life with two curious and energetic twin sisters.
She may have some really bad days, but as parents, we’ll always have to remind her. She may be the third baby, but she’s still amazing and we are lucky to have her.