Covering the food & beverage industry, beauty, fashion, retail markets, the Ministry of Land, Infrastructure and Transport, the Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Rural Affairs and related people and entities worldwide
Sex restrictions take hold as World Cup nears
By Ko Dong-hwan
Brazilian star Neymar
By Ko Dong-hwan
With the Brazil World Cup kicking off in a month, teams are busy creating rules to dictate their players’ sexual behavior.
While no one has ever proved that a player’s performance in a football tournament has any relations to what he does in bed (or how frequently he does it), teams seem to be worried that too much sex could be a distraction.
The entire Mexican team has already declared they will not have sex at all during the tournament. Coach Miguel Herrera, 46, argued, “Those who can’t celibate from 20 days to a month don’t deserve their national football team spots.”
Brazil, the hosts, allowed its players to have sex, but only in “normal’’ positions. Coach Luiz Felipe Scolari, 66, worries that difficult sex positions put players at the risk of injury. It remains unclear whether the team will ever be able to confirm if a player tries something other than missionary.
Bosnia and Herzegovina is another team that banned sex. Coach Safet Susic, 59, imagined that his players would be masturbating liberally.
France allows players to have sex because they are French. Coach Didier Deschamps, 46, reminded players to control their sexual activity so it doesn’t disrupt their training and game preparation.