How sexual intimacy varies across couples in the US, Korea and Japan
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About one in four American couples does not have sex even once a month, according to a recent survey that sheds light on changing intimacy patterns across developed countries.
The findings come from a poll conducted by U.S. research firm Talker Research and adult wellness brand LELO, which surveyed 2,000 adults in committed relationships. The results suggest that fatigue, stress and mismatched desire — rather than lack of affection — are the biggest obstacles to sexual intimacy.
Respondents said the most common reason for infrequent sexual activity was fatigue, cited by 38 percent, followed by mismatched sex drives at 29 percent, health problems at 29 percent and work-related stress at 27 percent. On average, American couples reported having sex four times a month, with each encounter lasting about 18.6 minutes.
Despite the relatively low frequency, satisfaction levels remained high. While 14 percent of respondents said they were completely dissatisfied with their sex lives, 71 percent said they were satisfied. The results suggest that many couples prioritize emotional connection and relationship quality over how often they have sex.
Age played a role in sexual activity. Generation Z respondents reported the highest frequency, averaging 5.3 times per month, followed closely by millennials at 5.1 times. Among couples with active sex lives, 35 percent said they stayed in constant contact with their partner throughout the day. By contrast, only 9 percent of couples with infrequent sexual activity reported that level of daily communication. The survey results were introduced by the U.S. science and culture platform StudyFinds.
How does this compare with Korea and Japan?
If “sexless” is defined as couples with no physical issues who have gone at least a month without sexual relations, Japan ranks highest among the three countries. About 64 percent of Japanese couples fall into this category, compared with roughly 36 percent in Korea and 25 percent in the United States.
According to a recent survey by the Japan Family Planning Association, 64.2 percent of married Japanese respondents said they were in sexless relationships — an increase of more than 10 percentage points in just a few years. Experts say the rise reflects a broader trend of “desexualization” in Japanese society, where overall interest in sex is declining.
Korea does not have a recent nationwide survey on sexless relationships, but clinical data and related studies from the country’s sexual medicine community estimate that about 36 percent of Korean couples are sexless. Analysts cite looking after children and separate sleeping arrangements — often caused by differing sleep schedules — as key reasons intimacy declines among Korean couples.
Globally, the average rate of sexless relationships is estimated at around 20 percent. Experts say the issue goes beyond personal preference, as sexual intimacy is closely linked to emotional bonding and overall life satisfaction.
They say solutions require broader social support, including reducing excessive work hours to help couples regain emotional and physical energy. Improving housing and parenting cultures to ensure private space for couples is also seen as important. In addition, expanding access to professional counseling through public health centers and family support facilities, along with relationship-focused sex education that emphasizes healthy communication, could help address the growing issue.
This article from Kormedi.com, Korea’s top health care and medical portal, is translated by a generative AI system and edited by The Korea Times.