Love & Marriage
By Kim Min-jeong
Global Student Reporter
"Marriage is not a fancy dream. Let's be realistic."
We might hear this kind of thing many times. As we know, nowadays love is one thing and marriage is another. Matchmaking programs and paid middlemen help people find partners for marriage and are very popular these days. Those who apply for these programs are often categorized by the amount of income they make or by their job positions. This shows us how materialistic we have become. However, it is time to realize that marriage should be the product of love and that marriages without love can never last long.
Today is not like the '80's, when people fell in love and got married. Marriage appears to have developed into a sort of business as people are becoming more materialistic. People in my parent's generation got married without looking thoroughly at each other's papers, mostly following their hearts. But this is like a fairy tale now. People in my generation prefer following their heads to following their hearts. They look for a partner with a certain job, income, appearance, or means ― and this is called "being realistic."
Being realistic is often considered being smart. But being realistic should not mean putting less importance on love and more on papers. Being realistic should mean being aware of the importance of love in marriage. If we are not looking for a marriage that will fall apart within a few years, we have to realize that love is the only thing that helps keep the realistic marriage together.
The purpose of marriage is getting distorted nowadays. The purpose of marriage is to be faithful and share life together for better or worse. Today, it seems that marriage is being used as a tool to attain something we want. When marriage is used as a tool, it can easily lead to an unfaithful marriage, and it is quite common for married people to have affairs. Although not everyone starts their marriage with impure intentions, people who lack love towards their partners are more vulnerable to being unfaithful. If marriage is not the result of love, but rather a tool, it is very difficult for the partners to feel guilty about being unfaithful. It is time to rethink the purpose of marriage in order to achieve happy marriages.
A strong bond, built by love, leads to a happy marriage. My parents had been in love for 10 years before they got married and they were very much in love when they did. Not every marriage can be perfect. They, of course, have had many difficulties keeping their marriage intact. But the strong bond, so called love, was the only thing that helped them to get through all these difficulties. Every time they wanted to give the marriage up, the great love they share always made them think twice and get back together. It is also impossible to have a happy family without having a happy marriage. Having a family is like building a house. If the first floor is not firm enough, it is impossible to build the second floor.
Marriage should be the outcome of love and having a happy family should be based on having a happy marriage. Showing an example of a happy marriage to offspring can also result in another happy marriage in the next generation. If we want to have a happy marriage, we have to start to consider what is important in marriage. Love is the most valuable asset of all.