'Responsibility should be top priority in youth sex education'
An instructor from Intree, a group of single mothers, teaching sex education at Jung-hwa High School in Seoul in November. Courtesy of Intree
By Lee Kyung-min
The value of love and responsibility as well as practicing protected sex using condoms should be equally emphasized in youth sex education, according to an instructor, Chulhee M. Lim.
Lim, 41, who had a son when she was 31 is a single mother who teaches sex education in elementary middle and high schools. She is a member of Intree, a rights group of single mothers promoting women’s and other minorities’ issues. Their agenda includes gender equality, healthy love and school relationships, taking responsibility and breaking social prejudice.
Most parents are reluctant to talk about sex, because they associate it with only physical gratification, a mindset that needs to be fundamentally challenged.
“Many parents who I talk to say they get simply lost when their children ask them about sex, saying they just wish they weren’t in a situation where they couldn’t avoid answering them. That attitude is wrong,” she said.
“Parents should openly talk with their children and encourage them to have conversations so they do not get feelings of shame, otherwise they could learn to repress their feelings which in turn might form a notion about sex that is wrong and distorted. Not being berated for asking the question is also important.”
Having sex is a natural part of human experience, and young people should know how to deal with their sexual drives through healthy thinking, she added.
“First of all, caring about the person you love should come first before they think about sex,” Lim said. This is why she always tells students to think this way, “Would I do this to the person I love? Am I willing to take full responsibility for what happens next?”
Contraception including the use of condoms is always recommended. But many times condoms fail and getting pregnant is always a possibility, which is why she believes responsibility should be the top priority in deciding what option the couple takes.
“A pregnant woman is bound to feel betrayed if the man she thought she was in love with just turns away and leaves. This happens because the man thinks pregnancy is only the woman’s problem, not his. I especially tell boys that they should think that it may very well happen to all of them and they should be prepared for what steps they take next, a question they had never thought of on their own before.”