More Koreans opting to isolate themselves
Illustration by the Korea Times
By Kim Se-jeong
Relationships in Korea were traditionally formed by two important factors: where a person was from and what schools they attended.
They were so important that they could change a person’s career and social status.
These relationships were maintained through regular meetings after work and weekends during which people engaged in drinking sessions, karaoke and group hikes among others.
The drinking sessions were particularly frequent in December and January..
Much of the tradition still persists, but this is changing slowly with a younger generation that chooses to spend more time alone.
Jang, from Seoul, is among those who refuse to go to the meetings.
Until last year, her December and January months were usually filled with year-end dinners with her high-school friends, university colleagues, middle-school friends and other old acquaintances. But this year, she attended none and spent that time alone at home.
“I only saw them once or twice a year. Frankly, I didn’t have that much of a personal connection with them,” said Jang who didn’t disclose her full name. “But, I went out of obligation and because that’s what other people were doing.”
During her most recent dinner meeting she received many wedding invitations. “This meant I was obliged to attend them although I wasn’t close to them and I had to spend a lot of money (as cash gifts). This year, I wanted to spend that time for myself and to focus on my own life.”
Univtomorrow Research Lab of the Generation in Their 20s, a private research firm based in Seoul targeting consumers in their 20s, said people like Jang are on the rise and call them people with “gwantaegi,” a new Korean word meaning “relationship fatigue.” The word refers to those who don’t feel comfortable with maintaining relationships.
The lab’s 2016 survey on these people revealed one in four of those in their 20s suffered from relationship fatigue. They viewed the effort to build new relationships as useless.
Among those with the fatigue, the survey showed, more than half answered bonding wasn’t enough of a motivation for them to attend meetings. They said they would prefer a purpose-driven meeting.
The survey also showed this solitary life continues on a daily basis. Seven out of 10 chose to do things alone in their everyday lives.
Asked why they prefer to be alone, many answered they were more at ease and felt more satisfaction that way. Also they said they didn’t want to deal with the stress of human relationships.
The result is meaningful given that Korean society traditionally cherished collectivism and there was a stigma attached to people who spent time alone. It shows a clear break from the tradition.
Relationship fatigue is also in line with the rising social trend of living alone, and is demonstrated by a surge in sales of studio apartments, one-serving meals and restaurant tables serving one person.
Prof. Chang Se-hoon at the Department of Sociology of Dong-A University said one cause of rising relationship fatigue and the single life trend in Korea was the hierarchal social environment.
“In relationships in Korea, seniority matters a lot,” Chang said. “And the younger generation feels pressured under these circumstances. Some people do it for future career advantage, but it is very few people who take advantage of it _ not ordinary people.”
Also noteworthy is “Korea’s collectivism that is very demanding,” Chang said. “Koreans have tough daily lives to deal with and having to put up with relationship demands is simply overwhelming.”