Our amusing neighbor Chinese
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By Nam Sang-so
Chinese people believe China, or “zhong quo” meaning the Middle Kingdom, is located in the center of the universe. There are 1.4 billion Chinese, which is 21% of the world’s total population, compared with 315 million Americans, 127 million Japanese and 51 and 25 million Koreans in the South and North respectively. Anyone who cannot read Chinese characters is a foreign devil. And large numbers of these devils don’t have black hair.
Chinese people quite simply do not like Japanese. It’s a long story, several hundred years old, and it has to do with war, rape, pillage, and poaching of their culture by Japanese soldiers. On the other hand, they regard Korea as their little brother, and cute sister, and try to maintain a friendly relationship with the people on the peninsula. They thought that Gen. Douglas MacArthur came too close to their border in the Korean War.
With Americans they have a complicated love and hate relationship. Russians, as vodka alcoholics, are looked upon as an ex-comrade. Although they are close neighbors with a lengthy shared border, China keeps an ever-vigilant eye on Russia. Nevertheless, united by their shared suspicion of America, they co-operate to veto any important- policies that Washington may dream up.
The Chinese are proud of teaching their language to Korea. And “Aiya” in Chinese and “Aigo” in Korean are gems of exclamation, useful in almost every imaginable circumstance, casually thrown in at the beginning or end of a sentence. Uttered with different intonations, they can express frustration, trouble, empathy, awe, shock, glee, or any emotion, and greatly dramatize a situation. Like a French shrug, they are applied liberally and only appreciated by the natives.
Chinese people would say, “Aiya, it’s good to see you!” A Korean answers, “Me, too, Aigo. It’s a beautiful day.” Chinese: “I hear your son was accepted by Yale, Aiiyaa.” Korean: “Yes, but, Aigo, I’m not sure if I can finance it.” “Aiya,” exclaims the Chinese. When a young unmarried man dies, the Korean would say, “Aigo, he is gone without experiencing a joy of having a wife,” and the Chinese would utter, “Too bad he is gone without experiencing a joy of stealing, Aiya.”
Men’s clothes in China have a lot of pockets for the purpose of splitting money. Theft is the most common criminal offense. Chinese youngsters find it hard to understand when they see Korean men freely walking around in Seoul with a bulging leather wallet peeking out from their back pocket.
Our big brother on the other hand would cross Korean and other boundaries indifferently. If you ignore this unique trait, you’d never understand why Chinese disregard the intellectual property rights and keep copying your inventions or fishing in Korean water without suffering from a guilty conscience.
It was Japanese women a decade ago Chinese men wanted to marry but they now find Korean girls far more attractive and want to marry one and live in an American style house, drink French wine instead of tea, play around with Russian girls, hire a Filipina housemaid, and eventually become a leading member in the communist party of the nation of statism.
Dragon is the totem symbol and the supreme holy animal of the Chinese people. It is colorfully composed of a large serpent’s body, a head of camel, claws of hawk, large red eyes of rabbit, and scales of carp. The people in the neighborhood must be careful in associating with Chinese as the dragon blows fire when it gets angry.
The writer has close Chinese relatives in Beijing and Qingdao. His email address is sangsonam@gmail.com.