Liar, liar!

By Robin Rhee

“O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive," wrote Sir Walter Scott.

It's difficult to keep your story straight when you lie. Can you remember what you told to whom? You must stick to one story and rehearse it over and over, for if you tell it enough times it may eventually be believed by those who hear it and you may even begin to believe it yourself.

There are many gradations of lies, stretching from trivial untruths to those which can put you behind bars for years to come, notably bearing false witness in a court of law while under oath.

Do you remember the songs “Little White Lies" and “It's a Sin to Tell a Lie?"

Little white lies or fibs are often told by both children and adults.

For example a child might deny sneaking cookies from the cookie jar or spilling juice on the carpet.

An adult when asked by his mate if a dress makes her look fat will probably answer, “No," even if in fact it makes her look like the Goodyear Blimp.

A story which is said to smell fishy is derived from some anglers' stories about the fish which got away. Fishermen always fib about its size.

Those individuals who stretch the truth may be telling only a half truth ― not quite a lie, but not the whole truth.

And then there are those whose stories which seem to be full of holes like Swiss cheese.

For habitual liars it is sometimes said they make everything up out of whole cloth.

Parents often try to teach their children not to lie by telling them the story about Pinocchio. It seems there was a woodcarver named Geppeto who wanted a little boy so he crafted a marionette and named it Pinocchio. A good fairy brought the toy to life but the little boy often told lies and when he did his nose grew longer.

Perhaps children do know right from wrong, for often when they suspect one of their friends is not telling the truth they chant, “Liar, liar, pants on fire."

Tall tales are often a part of a culture's literature. Take for example the tales about Paul Bunyan and his Babe the Blue Ox. Popular both in the United States and Canada, it is said that Bunyan was delivered by five storks because of his gigantic size and grew to possess extraordinary skills as a lumberjack. Readers are not expected to believe his adventures, neither are people expected to believe those who tell tall tales during the course of their lives.

Mark Twain once wrote, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics." A lie is a lie and statistics can be stretched, skewed and even turned upside down to prove a point.

Slander, libel, slush funds, con games, scams and bribery cases are examples of lies piled upon lies. The truth is so deeply buried that it may never be found or it may take years to discover it.

Hardened criminals always profess their innocence, even when all of the evidence proves their guilt. These are the bold-faced liars who tell their stories with such arrogance that it seems they dare their listeners not to accept them as gospel truth. The legal system, however, has mechanical lie detectors and trained professionals who can detect liars by observing their body language.

In election years it seems that the biggest liars are the candidates who are running for office. They hurl a barrage of lies against their opponents, lie about their backgrounds and make promises they know they can never keep.

Perhaps the best advice to those who think about telling lies was offered by Elbert Hubbard: “It is better to be lied about than to lie."

The writer is a former weekly columnist for The Korea Times and currently resides in Centerville, Ohio. Her email address is RRKORAM@aol.com.