Funny Canada
By Alan Saldanha
Canada comprises around 16,000 islands and encompasses nearly 9.09 million square kilometers. After Russia, it has the second largest surface area in the world.
With deposits of gold, nickel, copper and iron ore, Canada is a wealthy nation. And to cap it all, Canada is the second highest producer of crude oil extracted from oil sands in the world. When the Canadian dollar appreciates against the U.S. dollar, it is because of an appreciation in the commodities market. And yet Canada is low-profile when it comes to making a display of wealth.
Since Canada has so much land mass, would it matter if one tiny little island in the Arctic is relinquished to another country?
The answer is: ``Yes."
Canada will not part with an inch of its territory. Even a dove can get tough if you encroach on its territory. And, so, Canada has been doing amusing things to establish its sovereignty over an isolated island a mere 1.3 square kilometers in size. Hans Island is located to the north of Greenland (Denmark) and the south of Ellesmere Island (Canada). It is a stretch of barren rock covered with ice and floe. In this part of the Arctic Circle it is so cold you wouldn't want to blow your nose too hard.
Hans Island attracts visitors from only two nations: Canada and Denmark. And that is the problem. As of now, Hans Island is a no man's land with, Canada and Denmark both staking a claim for it. Denmark claims that it is a logical extension to the 1933 Act that awarded Greenland to Denmark; whereas, Canada claims it from way back when Eskimos traversed the area from the north of Greenland across the 5-kilometer stretch of water to Ellesmere Island. The real story is that someone forgot to designate Hans Island when the 5-kilometer stretch of offshore limits was being drawn up.
Some years ago Canada decided to take firm action: It dispatched a battleship (one of a fleet whose ships you could count on the fingers of one hand) to Hans Island. The commander of the ship went ashore and promptly planted a Canadian flag and a bottle of whisky. It was a largely symbolic gesture.
However, in a subsequent visit, it was discovered that the flag and whisky were gone.
In place, there was a Danish flag and a bottle of extra strong Danish ``Aquavit" alcohol ― the kind that would do some harm to the inner lining of the stomach and leave a dent on the head the next morning.
These small Mickey Mouse ploys have kept the feud alive and promises to present protracted sessions of pea-throwing. But that is so much like Canada.
In Canada, there is no threat of violent confrontation, no flamboyant display and grinding use of military power (the total number of armored tanks in the Canadian army is less than the number of tanks at a remote border outpost in South Korea. And if a politician gets really bellicose, it could even mean that he has had an extra pint during lunch hour.
Little wonder ― ``Canada" was once synonymous with ``peacekeeper of the world."
The author is an Indo-Canadian freelance writer and was editor of ``Daywatch'' newspaper from 2006 to 2007. Now semi-retired at the age of 61 and in Surrey, British Columbia, Canada, he can be reached at alansdaywatch@gmail.com.