'Room salon' culture in Korea
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Dear Dr. P,
Recently my Korean boyfriend told me that business meetings in Korea take place in special rooms where high-class call girls serve drinks (and more). Apparently the girls’ services are offered by clients and it is considered bad manners to refuse. I heard that seniors make life difficult for colleagues who express unwillingness to do what’s expected. It could even negatively affect their careers.
Some time ago, my boyfriend went to one such meeting and ended up sleeping with a girl, despite the fact that he had another girlfriend at the time. I find this practice of forcing colleagues to have sex (in the name of business honor) quite strange. Whateven stranger is that wives and girlfriends are supposed to understand and accept this. Isn’t it possible for someone to refuse and have his decision respected? Doesn’t “commitment” mean anything to them?
And doesn’t this kind of work culture encourage adultery? And what about religious people who’d prefer to honor moral values? Although we love each other, what saddens me is that I’m not sure whether he would stand his ground for me if put in a similar situation again.
Dear sender,
I think one of the worst aspects of life in Korea is this kind of “Room Salon service culture.” I have no idea how long this has been practiced. Geisha culture might have been the root, transformed and further complicated by rapid industrial development.
Recently, the government and society as a whole have been trying to get rid of this activity. For example, many room salons in Gangnam area have been forcefully shut down. Especially with the expansion of women’s rights, wives or girlfriends are unlikely to allow or want their husbands or boyfriends to take part in these practices.
If by any chance your boyfriend went there, it would be unacceptable for him to sleep with another girl. No one can force your boyfriend to have sex with a girl against his will even if they are his seniors or bosses. So you should make it clear that it isn’t acceptable, and warn him that he must take responsibility for his own behavior and not lay the fault at the door of another.
Dear Dr. P
I was wondering if you could recommend any doctors in Daegu. I am looking for a marriage counselor for me and my husband.
Please let me know if you have any helpful information.
Thank you.
These days I get increasing requests from foreigners in local cities to introduce them to English speaking psychiatrists. It may mean that the number of foreigners in the local area is increasing. But it is not easy to find a suitable psychiatrist for them, not only because they are rare but also because they are sometimes reluctant.
I tried to find a suitable one for you, and fortunately I would like to introduce you Dr. Kang Suk-hun. He served as a professor in the psychiatric department at Kyungpook University Hospital, one of the biggest hospitals in Daegu, for a long time and he was the president of the Korean Academy of the Psychotherapists. I think he can communicate with you in English because he served as a visiting professor in the United States for a couple of years.
Now he operates Dr. Kang’s Psychiatric Clinic near Daegu City Hall, you can contact him at 010.4119.7720 or shkang0313@hanmail.net.
I hope this will help you.
Dr. P
Dr. Park Jin-seng is a psychiatrist who runs a clinic for foreigners in Seoul and operates personal therapist forums on www.lifeinkorea.com. Please submit questions to him, either in English or Korean, to mdoctor@korea.com or call the hotline at 02-563-0678. Those who have their questions selected will be presented with a copy of his book “Finding Yourself within Love” (Korean e-Book).