(157) It’s not your fault
By Janet Shin
There was a famous line in the movie “Good Will Hunting,” “it’s not your fault.” It was spoken by Sean Maguire, a psychologist played by Robin Williams, to Will Hunting, portrayed by Matt Damon.
Hunting is a janitor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), who has a gift for mathematics. Owing to his deprived childhood, he builds a high wall to protect his ego with a victim mentality. In order to keep himself out of jail, he reluctantly agrees to see a psychologist, Maguire, who tries to heal the deep scars inside Will’s mind so as to learn a healthy love.
Many of us try to live by our own rule of justice. Quite often, it is not compatible with conventional reality and we suffer from the hurt caused by the difference. Some are able to find their own way of living by compromising with reality, others not. Some are capable enough to win in the battle of life and achieve their goals. But many just keep struggling and hoping to find a way not to be hurt too much. And they hope people will recognize them someday.
In the course of our life, many try not to be persuaded by reality even though there is a sacrifice. But we all know how hurtful it is to stay unspoiled as we age.
I often tell my clients, “It is not your fault.” And the healing power of this sentence is beyond expectations.
I say this not to mimic Maguire rather this is just the right sentence for a saju master to tell someone who in absolute hopelessness, as told by their saju.
For many of us, our lives aren’t laid out as we would wish or as we try. We were educated by Edison’s famous aphorism, “Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.” But if you age enough to learn life, you would understand this doesn’t apply to everybody. If you are able to achieve something by 99 percent perspiration, you deserve your success and you are lucky. Yet I cannot deny that some people are still fumbling around in the darkness of helplessness.
Healing is not only applied to those who have failed in life. I met quite a successful opinion leader, and he asked me to read his face. Even though I already knew he was a prominent social figure, I was able to read the long and winding road that he had to tread to get where he is now. I told him that he made his own fortune and he experienced great hardship without any support from others and he had to build his own castle from the bottom. He gasped in pain but there appeared peace in his face.
He grew up in an orphanage as his parents couldn’t afford to raise him. His current success was not only made through his efforts but was built on all the hardships he had to endure on the way. He appreciated that he heard what he wanted to hear. He had to appear strong and nowhere could he confess his past.
This is a rather happy ending to a story of a life.
Here is the saju of an ordinary man.
He came from a poor family. His father had been jailed as he was not able to pay back his debts. Since his mother became the breadwinner, he, the oldest son in the family had to assist his mother while the other siblings were raised by his uncle. He got a job at a bank after graduation but he still had to fight with debt and his personality was not lithe enough to fit a company and its regulations. He resigned because he couldn’t compromise with the reality and left for a trip without enough money. Experiencing all these hardships, he questioned his life. He felt that he had no luck. All these questions about life made him a saju master.
Being a saju master he also comforts people who are in trouble, saying “It’s not your fault”. Because he learned that there is no answer but to heal hurt when people have to go through the darkest tunnel of life.
He was born with yin fire energy, in the month of swampy earth. For those born in the month of swampy earth, it is not easy to get out of the tunnel early. The three branches of month, day and time in his saju make a metal trine. Even though the metal trine implies money fortune, it completes its energy trine only after his mid-forties. After learning why, he realized it was better to wait for the time, instead of struggling or complaining about his reality.
Information: Are you interested in learning more about saju, the ancient Chinese teachings of the “Four Pillars of Destiny?” Saju and face reading workshops are held in Itaewon, Seoul.
For more information, contact Janet Shin at 010-5414-7461 or email janetshin@hotmail.com.
The writer is the president of the Heavenly Garden, a saju research center in Korea, and the author of “Learning Four Pillars” For further information, visit her website at www.fourpillarskorea.com