I am an editorial writer at The Korea Times, focusing on foreign policy, North Korea and domestic politics. My key areas of interest include North Korea, foreign interference in elections, election integrity, cyberattacks and human rights. Prior to joining the Editorial Board, I served as both Politics Desk editor and Culture Desk editor. During my career, I have reported on the Presidential Office under the Lee Myung-bak administration, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the National Assembly.
Star-crossed lovers remembered
Ven. Jigaiya in a temple based in the southwestern waterfront city of Yeosu / Courtesy of Ven. Jigaiya
By Kang Hyun-kyung
Buddhist monk releases tragic romance book 'Lovesickness' based on a true story
By Kang Hyun-kyung
Ven. Jigaiya, head monk of a small temple in the southwestern waterfront city of Yeosu, has released the tragic romance book, “Lovesickness,” based on a true story.
The Buddhist monk's ninth book is the Korean version of “Romeo and Juliet” as the author delved into the story of two star-crossed lovers who committed suicide to keep their love alive forever in the face of disapproval from their parents.
The Buddhist monk said his new book is a tearjerker.
“It took 10 years for me to finish the book,” Ven. Jigaiya told The Korea Times over the phone on Wednesday. “I cried a lot. It was very difficult for me to finish it earlier, because sadness rose in me whenever I started to write their story and it prevented me from continuing.”
The Buddhist monk began to write the tragic romance story in 2009 after the mother of the late girl had repeatedly asked him to do so for her.
The bereaved mother in her mid-60s, who is identified only by her surname Lee, initially tried in vain to write her daughter's tragic love story to pay a posthumous tribute to her poor girl.
“She found it hard to make progress because she was overcome with pain and anguish because of the loss of her loved one,” Ven. Jigaiya said. “She wanted to let others know that her daughter existed here, albeit for a short time. She also wanted her daughter's tragic love with her boyfriend to be remembered.”
Her mom displayed complex feelings when she saw the book, according to the monk. He said she heaved a sigh of relief as her previous efforts finally bore fruit, but on the other hand the book prompted her to face the agony deep down in her heart.
The Korean title of the book is “Sangsawha-aebyeol-ligo,” a Buddhist term roughly translated as “lovesickness” that led to a tragic end for those in love.
Sangsawha is the Korean name for “magic lily” and the flower is commonly found in the neighborhood of Buddhist temples, according to Ven. Jigaiya. The rest of the book title, “aebyeol-ligo,” means the pain or suffering caused by separation.
“In Buddhism, Sangsawha means love that is doomed to fail and those who are in love are meant to break up. So, together, the title indicates the deep pain people feel after losing their lover,” said Ven. Jigaiya.
In “Lovesickness,” the author used aliases for all the characters. Jin Eun-jin, Lee's college-aged daughter, met her love interest Jeon Young-hoon in 2003 in Vancouver, Canada, where they were studying English. It was love at first sight for both of them but they were separated after their intense first encounter.
Young-hoon returned to Korea following his mother's request. His controlling mom wanted her son to help his father run his small business so he could eventually take over.
His mom arranged about 10 blind dates with women with good families and educational backgrounds for her only son. Whenever he met them, however, he could not forget the woman he met in Canada.
Young-hoon and Eun-jin reunited dramatically in Seoul in 2004, months later after Eun-jin returned to Korea after completing her English language program. They dated for almost three years until they were separated again because of “gunghap” ― marital compatibility predicted by a fortuneteller.
“Everybody knows gunghap is superstition. But it still has an impact on many couples when they make decisions about marriage and influences their parents' blessing or disapproval. Young-hoon's family was one of them,” Ven. Jigaiya said. “He heard that he and his girlfriend were not meant to be together.”
According to the Buddhist monk, the marital compatibility of Young-hoon and Eun-jin showed there was a stumbling block, called “wonjin-sal,” supposedly a feud from their past lives when they were enemies of each other.
“He was a mama's boy. He loved his girlfriend so much. But the results of his marital compatibility with his girlfriend, which he overheard from his mother, tore his life apart,” Ven. Jigaiya said.
To keep his love alive, Young-hoon chose to break up with his girlfriend in 2007, after three years of dating. Years later, Eun-jin got an instant message from Young-hoon's friend who asked if she knew her former boyfriend had committed suicide to fulfill his commitment to love her forever. It shocked her. Days later she followed suit.
“Lovesickness” by Ven. Jigaiya
The true story appeared to have resonated with Ven. Jigaiya, maybe because he has been campaigning to stop suicide for the past 12 years since he founded Mugeon Village temple, a Buddhist version of a center for suicide prevention.
The cottage-style temple was initially located in Anseong City, some 67 kilometers south of Seoul. It relocated to its current location in Yeosu years ago.
Over the past decade, Ven. Jigaiya has welcomed over 3,000 visitors who were in dire need of help. He said about 300 of them were at risk of immediate suicide.
“I let them talk,” he said. “I am a listener. Depending on visitors, there is a moment of silence as my visitor stops talking. To break that awkward moment, I chip in and say 'You know what? There was a time that I had gone through the same thing that you are now facing. I was frustrated and lost my sense of direction.' I tell this to them because I want to let them know they and I are in a same boat. Then my visitor begins to talk again. They talk for hours and know how to handle the root causes that drove them to think of suicide as a last resort as they found wisdom from within.”
Ven. Jigaiya was once an aspiring politician before he became a Buddhist monk of the nation's second-largest Buddhist sect Taego in 2004. He worked as a legislative adviser for a lawmaker, a provincial council member and executive of a state-run corporation.
His life took a drastic turn after seeing media reports about Korea's high suicide rate. A Korean commits suicide every 45 minutes and that data stunned him.
“Human lives are invaluable. I realized we are losing such an invaluable thing every 45 minutes,” he said.
He countered the claim that he could provide mental support for people at risk of suicide without becoming a Buddhist monk.
“In layman's terms, it could be like this. You are a customer facing a decision to make between two commodities. The two are the same in terms of quality and price, except for the label. One is certified, and the other has no such label. The vast majority of consumers go for the certified one because they trust it,” he said. “For me, being a Buddhist monk was necessary to give a helping hand to those who are about to make an extreme decision with their lives.”