Gov't officials run screaming from female interns

By Kim Tong-hyung

Here’s your midweek update on the stories in entertainment and media you might have missed while reading about Asia’s regressive, ultra right-wing political figures, Taylor Swift’s world domination, or because your life is probably a lot more fulfilling than ours.

Female interns avoided like flu

Park Geun-hye’s government has been reeling after her former press sectary Yoon Chang-jung allegedly groped a young American intern assigned to help him during Park’s visit to Washington.

The presidential office has since apologized multiple times and promised Koreans will see better behavior and professionalism from senior government authorities.

An easy way to ensure this is to not use female interns for overseas trips. Or so the bureaucratic thinking goes, anyway.

Currently in Thailand, Prime Minister Chung Hong-won’s delegation has entirely filled its spots for temporary employees such as interns and travel guides with men. Chung also imposed a ban on alcoholic beverages so, in a lunch meeting between the members of his delegation and Korean expat leaders in Chiang Mai, the participants toasted each other with orange juice.

Sources close to Cheong Wa Dae believe the Yoon incident influenced the decision not to hire female interns. A government official denied this, but fanned sexism accusations by saying, “We hired more men because the schedule was tough.”

When given a headache, the rest of the world reaches for aspirin. Korean officials will consider removing the head.

Makgeolli isn’t healthy

Sungshin Women’s University professor Seo Kyoung-duk is continuing his mission to promote Korean culture abroad. His latest work is a front-page ad in the Asian edition of Wall Street Journal, which features Lego-haired actor Song Il-gook holding up a bowl of “makgeolli” — Korea’s milky, traditional peasant wine — and touting its alleged greatness.

Seo definitely has to hire a better copywriter. If he wrote, “Makgeolli is Korea’s favorite rice brew. Pair it with kimchi to really bring out the flavors. It’s a healthy way to drink. Head to the nearest Koreatown to enjoy!” himself, he should fire himself.

For readers who were born yesterday, alcohol is one of the most well-established causes of cancer, classified as a “Group 1” carcinogen by the World Health Organization since 1988. By using “healthy” as a word to describe the experience of drinking an alcoholic beverage, Seo is really curbing the expectations for the average Koreans’ intelligence.

Korean beverage companies have been shamelessly promoting their products as healthy for years. One of the confounding moments in Korea’s financial market industry came in 2011 when the stock prices of Kooksoondang, a traditional beverage maker, rocketed after Korean scientists found that makgeolli has a larger content of the cancer-suppressing substance, farnesol, than beer or wine.

Of course, for the farnesol in makgeolli to have even a microscopic cancer-suppressing effect, the drinker would need to intake about 10-liters of it every time. He or she would probably die of liver cancer first.

This health nonsense sounds sad and stupid enough in Korean, but reading it in English is truly cringe-inducing. Why can’t we learn from foreign vodka companies and just say booze is all about lifestyle, cars and sex?

Bug-eyed Byun eyes lawsuits

This weekly column is dealing with a potential existential crisis. Bug-eyed conservative pundit Byun Hee-jae, who constantly battles imaginary Communists and his own sanity, has been the most convenient fodder of this corner, but he could be going down on a series of lawsuits.

Byun is probably Korea’s most annoying Internet personality, practically building his career throwing Twitter tantrums at famous people like culture critic Jin Jung-kwon, pop artist Nancy Lang and most recently Lee Si-young, an actress aspiring to become an Olympic boxer. And now these famous people are vowing to throw lawsuits back at him.

After the Seoul Central District Court earlier this month ordered Byun to pay 15 million won in defamation damages to Unified Progressive Party leader Lee Jung-hee for accusing her of being a North Korean sympathizer, Jin advised Byun to leave an extra 15 million for him as well. Jin was also accused by Byun of being a North Korea sympathizer.

“Congratulations, President Byun... I will soon come to get my 15 million won. Oh, and I will separately seek payment for the other slanderous things you said,” Jin tweeted.

For Jin, the taste of schadenfreude has to be particularly sweet. After Jin described Byun as a “nobody” in an online column in 2009, Byun sued him for defamation and was awarded 3 million won.

Liberal political pundit Kim Yong-min, also a frequent target of Byun’s attacks, said he is preparing his own lawsuit.