Trump says hamburgers, Kim says he's on a diet
From Wikemedia Commons
By Oh Young-jin
How will Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un get along during their June 12 summit?
The two leaders have supersized egos ― Trump as rich man with the presidency of the world's only superpower, while Kim is king of a communist dynasty.
Their clash of egos could spark the moment when they meet at Capella Hotel, Singapore. Or will it? After all, the whole aura surrounding the summit appears on the borderlines of being comic starting with the concept of the most asymmetric summit between the world's most powerful and a pariah state, but Kim and Trump are being treated as equals.
Here is my imaginary account of what could happen to the two in Singapore ― perhaps camaraderie.
Arms wrestling
Trump grabs the chubby hand extended by Kim as a handshake and squeezes it as hard as he did with French President Emmanuel Macron. The North Korean, half the American's age, feels pain but manages to quell a moan. He then uses his free hand for his typical double handshake and breaks free from Trump's grip.
While this ice-breaking, split-second testosterone contest is under way, Trump addresses Kim as “Your Excellency” as he did in his letter to announce the cancelation of the summit, which was back on when he and Kim made up. “Mr. President,” Kim says with a hint of moisture seen over his glasses.
Kim then gets even as he pulls Trump closer toward him for three hugs (as he did with South Korean President Moon Jae-in) ― communist style. Caught off guard, Trump barely refrains from pushing him away but then feels the tightening noose of Kim's chubby hands around his girth.
He momentarily thinks “Age,” but flashes a smile while looking down on Kim, who is 20 centimeters shorter, saying “dandruff” (as he did with Macron). Kim lets him go but calmly states, “Shampooed.”
Hamburger lunch
Trump tells Kim that he is a man of his word and wants to have hamburgers with him for lunch (The U.S. president indeed had a hamburger with Japanese Prime Minister Abe, the leader of a foreign country he has met most frequently.)
The American side has given much thought to what type of hamburger to serve. Of course, what they offer is not a ready to eat―type McDonald's or Burger King meal but a burger prepared by a White House chef.
The dish has one double-cheese burger with onions, lettuce and mayo in it with a bunch of potato wedges and ketchup. Trump proudly says this is the best the American hamburger can be expecting Kim to react enthusiastically. But Kim turns to brooding and shows no signs of the expected excitement.
Trump asks Kim why he has a long face and Kim reluctantly and tartly utters, “I am on a diet.” He says he refrains from eating them after he was force-fed to gain weight quickly to make him look like his granddad ― Kim Il-sung, who led an invasion of the South at the start of the 1950-1953 Korean War ― when he took power seven years ago after his father Kim Jong-il's death.
Kim tells Trump that that was the only way to legitimize his rule and lead the nation at the tender age of 27. Trump becomes sympathetic and gains a sense of affection for Kim. At that moment, Kim looks up and asks Trump, “Do you have vegan perhaps?”
Mar-a-Lago
Toward the end of their meeting, Trump invites Kim to his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida for a round of golf. He talks about how good a golfer he is. He reportedly is good enough to shoot around his age and he is said to have exceeded Abe by a large margin in drive shots.
No records are available of Kim's average score, although he ordered the construction of a golf course and attended its ground-breaking ceremony. With a smile, Kim tells Trump, “I have not played many rounds but I assume I am good, considering my late father who scored a 38-under 34 in the regular 18 holes of his golf course in Pyongyang. That included 11 holes in one, eagles and albatrosses.
Trump says he wishes he could have played with Kim's father.
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The two hit it off well and share greetings before heading home. Reporters ask how they agreed to go about the North's denuclearization. Trump and Kim realize they were carried away without doing anything but manage to say with straight faces and in union, “We have decided to meet again.”