![]() |
Korean language centers on terms used for referring to Korean parents, elders, professors and authorities. This occurs when meeting for the first or 1,000th time. In the United States, it occurs half the time. Koreans privilege respectful terms of reference. It's not Mr. Rowan, but Teacher, or Professor or Director or Grandfather. Koreans use the terms "seonsaengnim" (teacher), "gyosunim" (professor), "sajangnim" (director). These examples represent recognition and regard for a key life relation. Husbands and wives greet each other using respectful terms. So do children and parents, and juniors and seniors in various social contexts. Many of my friends returning home use polite terms of reference for their wives and husbands.
Does it sound cold or sterile? A Wikipedia article on the subject uses the phrase "Korean honorifics." Westerners find it odd to call one's wife or mother this way. It sounds generic and impersonal because Korean or Confucian referents differ.
Such "general" words suggest the same feelings, thoughts and intimacy in context. One doesn't need to hear the words "Mr. Rowan" to know that someone recognizes me as a specific or unique person. I'd say the misunderstanding, to the extent it occurs, about the style of reference arises from attachment to individuality and a relative loss of social networks in non-Korean cultures. Fast-paced, democratizing and Western cultures want to use personal, specific, ideally "unique" names as referents.
I remember my Korean friend taking his eldest son out at an early age. He trained the child to greet an older but not yet elderly woman as "ajumeoni." I notice Wikipedia omits this reference. I've written about "ajumma" many times. When a Korean refers to an adult, married mother as ajumma or ajumeoni, it properly stands for respect and a context of social affinity. The use of Korean terms of respect forges and reflects identity and shared understanding.
However, I'm not a romantic. Words naming titles aren't static in use or meaning. These terms admit of a variation of use and different ethical uses. The term ajumma (roughly, married woman with children) has begun to change and disappear since the mid-1980s. Women recoil or object. They prefer samonim (if older and a wealthy married woman), or chubu or yoja. More and more women work, delay marriage and hold public roles. The terms of reference change.
My point is to encourage traditional Korean referents. Why? We understand Koreans better. We must realize the changing yet enduring qualities of these referents.
The longer I experience and mull on Korean terms of respect, I see that more than serving as "honorifics," they galvanize the beauty and vitality of Korean social bonds. When one uses the reference name "teacher" in one's work and study, for example, it assumes beautiful qualities. It means "my teacher," "one who cares for my learning," and it represents a unique person. Conversely, saying "Mr. Rowan," instead of "teacher" or "professor," doesn't guarantee respect or regard. Knowing my name can occur with devaluation or with respect in use.
Nothing about Korean terms of respect guarantees ethical or moral use. As with all technologies, language, and languages and terms of those languages, carry an ineliminable moral sense. People use terms of reference better or worse, and for good or ill.
However, I'd suggest all foreigners learn and understand Korean polite terms of respect. They open Korean culture and society and form our associations ― even in busy and changing times.
Bernard Rowan (browan10@yahoo.com) is associate provost for contract administration and professor of political science at Chicago State University. He is a past fellow of the Korea Foundation and former visiting professor at Hanyang University.