When victims need to apologize

The Korea Times

The Korea Times

Opinion

Michael Breen

When victims need to apologize

Posted : 2011-04-21 16:56

Updated : 2011-04-21 16:56

When the son of Korea’s first president, Syngman Rhee, this week tried to pay his respects and apologize at the graves of students killed in the April 19 protests in 1960 that ended his father’s rule, he was jostled and blocked from entering the cemetery.

By Michael Breen

When the son of Korea’s first president, Syngman Rhee, this week tried to pay his respects and apologize at the graves of students killed in the April 19 protests in 1960 that ended his father’s rule, he was jostled and blocked from entering the cemetery.

The students’ families were not exactly rejecting his apology. They wouldn’t let him make it, even though it was the first such offer of reconciliation ever from the Rhee camp.

``This is not an apology, but a notification out of the blue,” the head of the April 19 Revolution Association said, justifying the assault. ``How can they come to the cemetery without our permission? What victim’s family would accept it if they came without our consent and have their photos taken by the press while reading the statement?” he added.

Rhee was surprisingly sympathetic. ``I understand how they feel, as they lost family members and the then government is to blame,” he said. ``I hope they will understand my wish that an apology should be made for historic wrongdoing and reconciliation should be reached.”

In this incident, the son of the dictator comes off looking better than the families of the victims. In fact, photos of the incident carried on the front pages on Wednesday turned Rhee ― you’ve guessed it ― into the victim.

When pro-democracy people ― the April 19 student protests ushered in a democratic government based on a parliamentary model ― physically manhandle an 80-year-old man coming to say sorry, you have to wonder about the values that underpin their idea of democracy.

From their own statement, the reaction of the victims’ family association seems to have been motivated by lack of control. Had they been given more time, they would have been able to stage manage the apology and exact more benefit from it. They could also have, as Koreans keep doing with Japan, rejected the apology as insincere and demanded another one.

But although unexpressed, Rhee’s gesture posed a deeper threat: once two sides are reconciled through the process of apology and forgiveness, there are no more victims. It’s over and done with. Now that Korea is a democracy and both parties are acting within a modern, democratic context, resolution is the desirable end.

But the victims’ resistance touches on an issue that is widespread in politics and in personal life: the need to maintain the victim posture.

In Korea, that is a very strong driver of protest. It begins with the view of history taught in schools which is, ``We are victims.” Koreans grow up seeing themselves as victims of Japan in the first half of the last century, and victims of the superpowers who divided the country in the second half.

Many South Koreans consider their country in some sense to have been a victim of the United States since the Korean War, believing that America has forced its troops on them and backed the dictators who depended on them.

But being a victim is a posture. It is an interpretation, an attitude, and a choice. It is equally possible, for example, to choose to believe that old Korea was fundamentally a victim of its own weakness. Indeed, the rapid development of South Korea as one of the strongest countries in the world suggests that this was indeed the thinking among decision-makers.

Similarly, while the original division of the country was foreign, imposed by the Allies at the end of World War Two, because Korea was part of Japan, no foreign power is forcing these two countries apart. The people keeping North and South separate are Korean.

The victim mentality also manifests in private life. Many live on the understanding that their problems are caused by other people. It can be a liberating revelation for people to accept that they are the authors of their circumstances and take responsibility.

There is, of course, comfort in being a victim. There’s always a sympathetic ear, handouts, a sense of moral superiority, and the avoidance of responsibility. It also provides justification for bad behavior. And that’s precisely was the April 19 Revolution Association members are guilty of. They should apologize.

Michael Breen is an author, former foreign correspondent and the chairman of Insight Communications, a public relations consulting company. He can be reached at mike.breen@insightcomms.com.