Foreigner, be a Red Devil

By Michael Breen

The World Cup kicks off today and for four wonderful weeks, the planet will be distracted by the top contest in its favorite sport. Aliens out there preparing invasion plans know this is their opportunity. We earthlings are leaving our posts and gathering in sports bars. Global defenses are down.

For aliens of a different kind already in Korea ― foreign residents and visitors ― now could rank among the most memorable moments of your life. You have an opportunity to join in some national excitement that should not be missed.

There are three basic guidelines. The first is to watch World Cup matches in which the South Korean team is playing. The second is to watch them on screens in public, the larger the space the better. The third is to wear red, except ― and this is important ― on days when you are supporting your own country's team. (The nationalist not only respects he who supports his own nation but views foreigners who put Korea above their own rather as communists used to look upon democratic socialists ― as useful idiots).

It helps to appreciate that in Korea, the passion about to explode is not about ``the beautiful game," as Pele famously called it. It's about Korea. The sport is a distant second. We get worked up here about even fringe sports provided local athletes do well in them.

Foreigners who are new to football need not be shy. All you need is basic appreciation of the objective which is for the men ― teams are all male ― to kick the football into the opposing team's net. When they succeed, team members run to hug and kiss the man who did it. Sometimes the goal scorer tries to run away from this shower of affection. Each team has 11 players.

The main rule in football is that a player can't touch the ball with his hand, even accidentally, unless he's the goalie. That's the player who wears gloves. This offense is called ``a handball."

The most complicated rule is called ``offside." A player is ``offside" if he is closer to the other team's goal line than both the ball and the second last opponent. If the referee spots this infringement, he will blow his whistle and award a free kick to the other side. As I say, it's a complicated rule and hard to spot given the speed of the action. The basic rule of thumb for those watching a game is to accept the referee's decision, unless a) the TV replay shows he was wrong, or b) he is penalizing the team that you support.

When referring to the sport, you may say ``the football," as in, ``I'm watching the football," or ``the match."

American visitors, in the interests of global unity, please refrain from using the word ``soccer." Although originally a British term ― it apparently comes from the ``soc" in Football Association ― it's a reminder that the proper word has been hijacked in America by another sport.

Don't expect lots of goals. Football is not basketball. Hence the excitement when one is scored. As a measure of the effort that the players in this year's finals have already been through, the 32 teams won out in a competition that ran from August 2007 to November 2009 and which saw 2,337 goals in 848 matches.

David Beckham is not in the England team any more, but there are plenty of other good looking footballers. The sport creates perfect male physiques, slim torsos and muscular legs, unlike some sports in some countries which we won't mention but which give chaps freaky upper bodies.

When footballers are interviewed on TV, they tend to say banal things. That's because they've had no time in life for deep thinking. Generally footballers are scouted in their mid-teens which means that, with the exception of the Americans, who get sports scholarships to colleges, most leave school around 16. As an illustration of this, one player in the English Premier League who had graduated from high school with one ``A-Level" qualification was nicknamed by fans ``The Professor."

But, back to Korea. Visitors should make sure to watch South Korea's first game, against Greece, on Saturday. Head for the largest open space where there are outside screens. I recommend downtown Seoul.

Feel free to take your children. One thing about crowds in Korea is that even when they're throwing things at the police, they don't mean to hurt anyone. And they won't be here. The atmosphere is very nice and the appearance of a foreign face is really appreciated. If the team wins, expect to be treated by total strangers as an honorary supporter or ``Red Devil."

The chant you will hear most is ``Daehan Minguk" which means Republic of Korea. The first syllable is long and is followed by three punchy ones: ``Daaaaaaaay-han-min-guk." Then you clap your hands to repeat the rhythm of long-short-short-short.

If Korea scores, it is customary to go berserk. After a match, if Korea wins, you want to stay around and high-five strangers and do some more group chanting.

Korea and Greece kick off at 8.30pm tomorrow which is an ideal time. The team plays the others in its group, Argentina and Nigeria, on the 17th and 22nd respectively. If it comes first or second out of the four, Korea will advance to the quarter finals.

If it doesn't, you don't need to watch any other matches.

Michael Breen is an author, former foreign correspondent and the chairman of Insight Communications, a public relations consulting company. He can be reached at mike.breen@insightcomms.com.