When Women Don’t Want to Be Equal

The Korea Times

The Korea Times

Opinion

Michael Breen

When Women Don’t Want to Be Equal

Posted : 2009-12-17 17:54

Updated : 2009-12-17 17:54

By Michael Breen

When a woman this month filed a lawsuit against her celebrity boyfriend after he lost interest in her, she demonstrated why for many women taking a position as inferior to men is preferable to equality.

In her suit, the lady, Kwon Mi-yeon, who is 22 and from Canada, says she suffered mental and physical distress because the boyfriend, Lee Byung-hun, one of Korea's most popular actors, was going to marry her but didn't. She wants 100 million won in compensation.

``I filed the lawsuit when I thought of how a famous person had used his celebrity and personal charm to treat me as a plaything," she was quoted as saying.

In Korea, it used to be illegal for a man to get a woman into bed by promising to marry her, unless he meant it.

The law, Article 304 of the Criminal Code, was intended to protect women from men. The reasoning behind this was that the former, we were to believe, were victims who tended to take the long-term view when it came to meaningful relationships, whereas the latter had a built-in perversity that caused their best intentions to go short-term results-oriented once they'd spotted a bare female ankle.

The law was borrowed in 1953 from Germany, a country that had recently emerged from a decade-long shafting by one nasty man. Germany scrapped the rule in 1969, but Turkey, Cuba and Romania still have a similar one.

In Korea in the 1980s, more than 2,500 suits were filed each year. Given the difficulty of proving intention to deceive, the small portion that went to trial invariably involved men who either confessed or who had extorted money from victims. The punishment was a fine of a few million won and two years in jail.

Last year, 25 men were indicted. The decline reflects changing social mores, captured in the ruling by the Constitutional Court last month ― and Kwon may not be aware of this ― that the law is now unconstitutional. Feminists here also argued that it enshrined inequality. While the law is no longer in effect, when the Seoul District Court considers her case, it will be hard to shake free from this past mentality.

In evaluating this story ― and it's a story because Lee is famous, not because it's unusual ― we need to separate the principle from the emotions. I can empathize with Kwon. I was dumped once, coincidentally when I was 22, and working as a barman, and I felt wretched for several months even though I had only known her for a few weeks. Being a man, however, I couldn't have gone to court, even if it had occurred to me to do so, because, quite rightly, the law does not reach into such emotions. A man just has to live with the anguish after he's been ravished and dumped, and carry on pulling pints.

Although I haven't seen pictures, I imagine Kwon is smart and attractive. She went to York University in Toronto where she studied rhythmic gymnastics and was good enough to be selected for the Canadian national team. She gave this place up and came to Korea in July to be with Mr. Lee.

That was when he lost interest. ``Mr. Lee changed his attitude towards me once I came to Korea, and gave me W10 million and secured an apartment in Bongcheon-dong with a 700,000-won monthly rent," she reportedly said. "Afterwards he ignored me."

Thus dumped, she probably feels that there's something wrong with her and she may want to be compensated in order to break free of her pain. No argument there. Given my circumstances at the time, financial recompense would have helped me feel better more quickly. This is the principle behind compensation.

But should Mr. Lee be punished because, instead of sitting down with her like a gentleman and telling her he was no longer into her, he paid her insufficiently and without really explaining why he chose to leave?

No. I think Ms. Kwon should learn what she can, go home and see if she can't get that place back on the gymnastics team. And if Mr. Lee does offer her some money, she should politely decline it saying he owes her nothing.

Michael Breen is an author, former foreign correspondent and the chairman of Insight Communications, a public relations consulting company. He can be reached at mike.breen@insightcomms.com.