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Alas for the scumba…. er, miscreant, also aboard the flight was a dark angel of macho justice: Richard Marx. Formerly known as a warbler of dire 1980s cheese-pop with a ridiculous mullet, Marx unleashed his badass persona as he led flight attendants in restraining the speck of shi… er, perpetrator.
While Marx was critical of the cabin crew's incompetence in restraining the doucheba ― er, young gentleman, I say praise is due. Granted, their skill-at-arms was lacking, but their forbearance was angelic. Who among us would have accepted being insulted and spat upon multiple times without retaliating?
Had I been among the crew, after the unruly swin… er, fellow had been tied, I would have force-fed him steaming coffee as a sobriety aid ― some of which would have accidentally spilled upon his nether regions: "Don't worry sir, you can have medical treatment once we touch down in four hours. And please, stop yelping! How can such a small part cause such big pain?"
(I know: I am not cut out to be a cabin attendant.)
More seriously: Every airline passenger should thank Marx for publicizing an incident that would otherwise have gone unreported and possibly unpunished. His efforts have thrown into sharp relief the issue of abusive, unruly and violent airline passengers.
Airborne misbehavior is more irksome than misbehavior in (say) a bar, bus or subway. The miscreant cannot be slung out or booted off at the next stop. Nor can police be summoned in mid-air. Fellow passengers are trapped with him/her for the flight's duration.
And airborne violence is potentially far riskier than on terra firma. Should a drunk and/or berserk passenger start a fire, crack a window or force open an emergency door… well.
What are some potential solutions?
Physical methods exist. Certain martial arts are ideally suited to closed confines, such as aircraft aisles. China's Wing Chun specializes in close-range ballistic techniques. Brazilian jiu-jitsu offers highly effective restraints. However, these methods require substantial practice before they become usable. And not everyone has the physical or mental attributes to fight effectively ― particularly flight attendants.
A non-lethal, non-impact weapon ― such as an electric Taser or chemical spray ― is therefore a more realistic option. Its deployment does not demand the considerable attributes or extensive training of unarmed martial arts. Once the passenger has been subdued, the crew can be trained in the use of plastic handcuffs and restraints customized for aircraft seats.
But deterrence trumps reaction. For this reason, stronger penalties need to be created, enforced and publicized.
Penalties can start with airlines themselves. Airlines manage extensive databases, with their code-sharing partners, for mileage passengers. There is no reason why airlines should not create and share information on problematic passengers, who can subsequently be denied service.
Obviously drunk passengers should not be allowed to board. The technologies used by police to test drunk drivers could be deployed by ground staff to test passengers who appear problematic.
Then there is the law. I differ profoundly with a recent editorial in this newspaper which suggested banning in-flight drinks. Good God! We should not punish the many for the misdeeds of the few! Moreover, the despicable little as… er, passenger in question was only served "2.5 drinks" which indicates he was intoxicated before boarding.
But Korean law is, in certain cases, overly tolerant of drunkenness. Could stronger legal penalties not be applied for drunk and disorderly behavior in-flight? Above and beyond Korea's powerful privacy and defamation laws, there is a case to be made for a "naming-and-shaming" law, making public outrageous behavior. Given Korea's tight-knit social culture, this could be highly effective.
Once harsh penalties have been applied, word spreads. Stern regulations and laws, and equitable enforcement, are the essential antidotes: We cannot all rely on Richard Marx to save us.
Happy flying to all readers in 2017!
Andrew Salmon is a Seoul-based reporter and author. Reach him at andrewcsalmon@yahoo.co.uk.