North Korean refugees speak out: 'My Hanawon experience' (7)

Casey Lartigue Jr.

More than 33,000 North Korean refugees have made it to South Korea in the last two decades, with almost every refugee passing through "Hanawon" since the first center opened on July 8, 1999. In the lead-up to Hanawon's 20th anniversary this past July, TNKR began asking North Korean refugees about their Hanawon experiences. Please check here for parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.

Minhee, female, escaped North Korea in 2015, arrived in South Korea in 2016.

Hanawon was fun. After a difficult escape, Hanawon was a relaxing and calm time. It was the most comfortable and enjoyable time I have had in Korea. They provided everything for us. We could exercise, sing, learn K-pop dances, learn about South Korean life. I never felt lonely there, I could meet so many people from North Korea and I also had a nice time learning about South Korea. My difficult time came after I was released into South Korean society. I was scared after getting released. It is so competitive here, there is so much pressure. I got married too quickly, his family was so eager, pushing us to get married. Then after we got married, his family wanted me to be a proper wife waiting at home for him, but I wish I had focused more on studying, working, earning certificates and gaining job skills. I guess they saw me as a submissive North Korean wife who would be a traditional submissive wife and daughter-in-law. Now that I am single again, I will make my life as I wish and I appreciate everyone who is with me and supporting me.

Hanna, female, escaped North Korea in 2016, arrived in South Korea in 2017.

Hanawon was hell. There was no freedom. I had to attend lectures I wasn't interested in, so it felt like a waste of time. The atmosphere among other refugees was so negative. People would complain about how terrible the North Korean government was. I agreed with that, of course. But my point was that the North Korean government was set up so that its structure has no respect for individual rights or individualism. There is no freedom there and they won't change. South Korea, however, was supposed to be based on freedom, and yet it had set up a welcoming center that was more like a North Korean institution. So when I arrived here, I wasn't interested in hearing complaints about North Korea or even talking about it; that was in my past. I was ready to look to the future, that's why Hanawon was hell for me and I was so eager to escape. After being released, I did kind of lose my way. In North Korea, I had been so confident; I knew what I was doing. Even my escape was easy; I had planned it very well. In South Korea, I had no connections; I felt that I was standing in a world that was too big for me. I was crying every day, depressed. The turning point was when I met some successful North Korean refugees; I could see how well they were doing here, that they were getting educated rather than complaining or being depressed. I wanted to be at their level so I began looking to the future again, and now I feel that I have found my way and can see many possibilities for myself here or even abroad.

Jiyoung, female, escaped North Korea in 2010, arrived in South Korea in 2015.

Overall, Hanawon was good. It gave me time to prepare for my life here in South Korea. Before leaving North Korea, then during my escape, I hadn't studied at all; I was just trying to survive. Hanawon was the beginning point of me starting to study again. So that was the good part about Hanawon. The bad part was the negative atmosphere. It was true among most of the refugees, so many were bitter and suffering from trauma after the ordeal of North Korea and China. It was also a negative atmosphere among the lecturers. They don't give us time to find our own way, they were pushing us to attend the refugee schools. Because of their experience with refugees and teaching at Hanawon, the lecturers were judgmental so quickly, ready to categorize us based on anything we did or said, or about where we were from in North Korea. After I was released, I was placed in a middle school for refugees; I was even among the oldest there after not studying for eight years. I struggled with adjusting there, so I moved to a public school in Seoul. The public school wasn't as horrible as I had been warned. The South Korean teachers and students were a bit curious about me and maybe even judgmental at times, but after some initial misunderstandings and stereotypes, I began to fit in quite well and have great memories of it.

Mija, female, escaped North Korea in 2001, arrived in South Korea in 2004.

I didn't go through Hanawaon, so I can only talk about what I heard from my mother. I was three years old when my mother brought me here. I was a newborn baby when my mother escaped from North Korea. My mom held me the entire time during our escape, I feel so lucky because after we got captured in China and sent back to North Korea, my mother had to prove that I was not half-Chinese. If she had failed, they might have killed me. After she was released from jail, she escaped again, and she brought me again despite the danger. So of course I must obey everything she says, she always reminds me how much trouble she went through to bring me here. Hanawon was not difficult for her; she had gone through so much so of course nothing scares her. She adjusted quite well here. I didn't go through the South Korean government's Hanawon, but I went through my mom's Hanawon. She made sure I would never have an identity crisis, she reminds me that I am from North Korea and there is nothing be embarrassed about, that I need to study harder than others so they won't have an excuse to discriminate against me. When I was in elementary school, she taught me not to worry about the South Korean kids making fun of me being from North Korea, that I would face discrimination here my entire life but I can't use that as an excuse. I think I have adjusted well to this society and my mom has, too, but of course she could even adjust to being on the moon, in a desert or anywhere in this universe.

The comments were collected by Casey Lartigue Jr., co-founder of the Teach North Korean Refugees Global Education Center. Lartigue was the 2017 winner of the "Social Contribution" Prize from the Hansarang Rural Cultural Foundation and was recently named the 2019 winner of a "Challenge Maker" Award from Challenge Korea. TNKR co-founder Eunkoo Lee translated the refugees' remarks from Korean to English.