There are some North Korean women who are tricked into going to China, but in my case, I willingly went through human trafficking. My family was starving, we were outcasts in North Korean society. I was bought by a Chinese man with mental problems. I realized that I couldn't live with him, so I escaped with my new-born baby who was then sick.
The escape was difficult, but I made it to South Korea. At first it was very difficult here; so many things were unfamiliar even though Korea has been divided for only 70 years. I knew my family's situation in North Korea had become even more difficult, so I was working and sending almost all of my money to North Korea. I became depressed for a while, but finally I got a nice job.
Sometimes when people find out that I went through human trafficking, they ask if I regret it, but I don't. If I had stayed in North Korea, then my child would be a slave to the North Korean leaders. Also, I would have never learned what freedom meant. I don't mean to make freedom sound like it is perfect, because I have also learned that freedom means responsibility.
Making choices is one of the most difficult things for many North Korean refugees to do, after we have been ordered around so much and not expected to think for ourselves. Now I am in a situation that my child can learn many things, see the world from a global view rather than having to satisfy the North Korean government.
When I first arrived in South Korea I really wanted to visit the USA. I had been taught that it was an evil country, but the propaganda was so wild that it didn't seem that it could all be true. Then when I saw some American movies and saw some outside media, Americans didn't seem to be the devils we were taught to fear.
It is my dream to save my family from North Korea so they can enjoy freedom too. It is now so expensive to escape from North Korea and it is more difficult now because the North Korean government is so determined to stop people from leaving. I'm worried about my family, but they are also worried about me because I'm the only one who escaped. I send money every year and I'm always thinking about ways I can rescue them from North Korea.
I have learned many things in South Korea. One is definitely that I can't wait for anyone else to take care of me. I came here with my baby, and I got some support from the government, but that basic support isn't enough for me to live a good life. One thing I am doing these days is studying English. The moment I realized that I needed English came when I was meeting a colleague at a restaurant.
The name was in English, so I didn't really understand the name exactly. He was trying to explain to me how to get to the place, but the sign was in English, so I had no idea about it. And now that my child is getting older, she has many questions about English. I studied English briefly when I was in North Korea. My teacher was enthusiastic but after coming here I can see that I had not really learned.
I am also counseling North Korean refugees who are trying to adjust to living here. My parents were really strict when I was growing up, but that influenced me in a positive way, and I am happy to give advice to people who are in the tough position I was in a few years ago.
Casey Lartigue Jr., co-founder of the Teach North Korean Refugees Global Education Center, is the 2017 winner of the "Social Contribution" Prize from the Hansarang Rural Cultural Foundation and the 2017 winner of the Global Award from Challenge Korea.?He compiled this statement from an interview with a refugee studying at TNKR. TNKR co-founder Eunkoo Lee translated her comments from Korean to English.