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Sat, December 9, 2023 | 09:58
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBYEvent from man's past troubles current wife
[디어 애비] 남편의 과거 행동이 신경 쓰이는 아내
Posted : 2023-09-07 10:32
Updated : 2023-09-07 10:32
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[디어 애비로 배우는 생생 영어]

DEAR ABBY: Two years before he met me, my husband of four years did something I feel was morally repugnant: He solicited a prostitute.
애비 선생님께: 결혼한 지 4년이 된 남편은 저를 만나기 2년 전, 제가 도덕적으로 혐오스럽다고 여기는 짓을 했는데, 바로 매춘부를 찾았습니다.


When he committed this act, he was going through a dark period in his life.
이 행동을 했던 당시 남편은 삶의 어두운 시기를 지나고 있었습니다.


He was divorcing a woman who had cheated and left him for another man, raising his young son and dealing with immense feelings of insecurity.
남편은 자신을 두고 외도하고 다른 남자에게 떠난 여성과 이혼하는 중이었고, 어린 아들을 키우면서 불안감이라는 엄청난 감정들을 겪고 있었습니다.


He told me all of this while we were dating, and I thought I would eventually get over it.
연애할 때 남편은 이런 모든 사실을 얘기해줬고, 저는 언젠가는 극복할 수 있을 거라 생각했습니다.


However, almost five years into our relationship, it still haunts me and makes me question his character.
하지만 만난 지 5년이 됐는데도, 남편의 과거 행동은 저를 괴롭히고 남편의 인격을 의심하게 합니다.


I hate that he was capable of doing something like this, regardless of what he was going through.
당시 겪고 있던 일과는 별개로, 남편이 그런 행동을 할 수 있었다는 사실이 싫습니다.


I have tried therapy, and we've tried couples therapy — nothing has helped me to move on.
치료도 받아보고 커플 상담도 받아봤지만 저는 찝찝한 감정을 떨치지 못하고 있습니다.


He says this is not the type of person he is now, but I just can't seem to separate the man who did that awful thing and the man I fell in love with.
남편은 현재의 자신은 그런 사람이 아니라고 하지만, 저는 그런 끔찍한 일을 한 남자와 제가 사랑에 빠진 남자를 분리할 수가 없습니다.


Are some actions so awful that they stain a person for the rest of their lives?
어떤 행동들은 너무 끔찍해서 한 사람의 남은 인생에 오점을 남기기도 하나요?


Are we doomed?
저희는 파멸할 수 밖에 없나요?


— WRESTLING WITH IT IN CALIFORNIA
— 해결하려고 애쓰는 캘리포니아 독자


DEAR WRESTLING: Your husband was honest with you from the beginning of your relationship and has been, I presume, a faithful partner.
애쓰는 독자분께: 남편분은 독자분과의 관계 초반부터 솔직했고, 그 이후로는 아마도 독자분만 바라보는 충실한 연인이었을 겁니다.


As you stated, he was under a lot of pressure when that happened.
독자분께서 말씀하셨듯 그 일이 일어났을 때 남편분은 많은 압박감에 시달리고 있었습니다.


I can't name one person who hasn't made a mistake sometime in the past, including me.
과거에 실수 한 번 하지 않은 사람은 찾을 수가 없습니다, 저 자신을 포함해서요.

Use some common sense and quit judging your poor husband for his one "slip," or PLEASE free him to find a woman who will appreciate him for who he is.
상식에 기반해 생각하시고 한번의 "실수" 때문에 불쌍한 남편분을 심판하는 걸 멈추세요, 아니면 자신을 있는 그대로 사랑해 줄 여성을 찾아갈 수 있게 남편분을 놓아주세요.

KEY WORDS
■ repugnant (대단히) 불쾌한[혐오스러운]
■ solicit 얻으려고[구하려고] 하다
■ prostitute 매춘부
■ insecurity 불안감
■ get over 극복하다
■ haunt (특히 불쾌한 생각이) 계속 떠오르다
■ question 의심하다, 의문을 갖다
■ character 인격, 품성
■ regardless of ~에 상관없이
■ therapy 치료, 요법
■ stain 얼룩지게 하다, 더럽히다
■ doom 불행한 결말을 맞게 하다
■ wrestle with ~을 해결하려고 애쓰다
■ presume 추정하다
■ faithful 충실한(다른 사람과 바람을 피우지 않는), 신의있는
■ slip (작은) 실수


Emailywjeon@ktimes.com Article ListMore articles by this reporter
 
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