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Wed, December 6, 2023 | 06:55
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBYParents make surprising choice following divorce
[디어 애비] 딸의 이혼 후 놀라운 선택을 한 부모님
Posted : 2023-07-31 16:55
Updated : 2023-07-31 16:55
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[디어 애비로 배우는 생생 영어]

DEAR ABBY: I am 49 and have been divorced for 20 years.
애비 선생님께: 저는 49세이고 20년 전 이혼했습니다.


When we first separated, my ex moved in with my parents while I struggled to raise my four kids.
막 이혼했을 때 전 남편은 저희 부모님 집으로 들어갔고 저는 홀로 네 아이를 키워야 했습니다.


He stayed there for seven years.
전 남편은 저희 부모님과 7년을 같이 살았습니다.


He moved out until a year and a half ago.
그리고 이사를 나갔다가 1년반 전 다시 돌아왔습니다.


Again, my parents have allowed him back in!
제 부모님이 또 다시 전 남편을 받아준 겁니다!


While I understand that they shouldn't have had to cease contact because of the divorce, I don't feel it's right for him to be living there.
이혼 때문에 저희 부모님이 전 남편과 연락을 끊을 필요는 없다는 걸 알지만, 전 남편이 저희 부모님 집에 사는 건 옳지 않다고 생각합니다.


This has caused an ongoing rift between my family and me because I have let them know that it hurts me.
전 남편이 부모님 집에서 사는 것이 절 아프게 한다고 말을 해왔기에 저와 저희 가족 사이에는 지속적인 균열이 있었습니다.


My parents pretty much told me my feelings don't matter.
저희 부모님은 사실상 제 감정은 중요하지 않다고 말씀하셨습니다.

I was homeless living in my car for a few weeks while it was bitter cold and snowing.
극심한 추위와 눈보라 속에서 저는 몇 주간 집 없이 차 안에서 살아야 했습니다.


But I'm not supposed to be upset that he's nice and warm, eating prepared meals, showering and using their vehicles for next to nothing?
그런데도 전 남편이 배부르고 등 따습게 살며, 차려진 음식을 먹고, 따듯한 샤워를 하면서 저희 부모님 차를 쓰는데 돈도 거의 내지 않는 상황에서 제가 화를 낼 수 없는 건가요?


He has had a full-time job for 10 years.
전 남편은 지난 10년간 정규직으로 일을 했습니다.


I feel my parents are disrespectful, hurtful and rude toward me.
저희 부모님이 저를 무시하고, 제 마음을 다치게 하고, 저에게 예의를 지키지 않는다고 느낍니다.


What are your thoughts about what I should do or how to handle this?
제가 무엇을 해야 하고 어떻게 이 상황을 해결해야 한다고 생각하시나요?


— PERTURBED IN PENNSYLVANIA
— 펜실베니아에 사는 심란한 독자


DEAR PERTURBED: My thought is that when you and your ex-husband divorced, your parents sided with him, and you have every right to your feelings.
심란한 독자분께: 독자분과 전 남편이 이혼했을 때 독자분 부모님은 전 남편의 편이 되셨으니 독자분이 지금 느끼는 감정은 아주 당연하다고 생각합니다.


Being told that your feelings do not matter had to have been devastating.
독자분의 감정은 중요하지 않다는 말은 무척 충격적이었을 거라고 생각합니다.

The way to handle this would be to stay as far from your parents as possible and figure out how to have a rewarding life on your own.
이 상황을 해결하려면 부모님에게서 가능한 멀리 떨어져 독자분 스스로 보람 있는 삶을 사는 방법을 찾는 겁니다.


Take that path — and spend as little time as possible looking backward because you really have no other choice.
스스로 보람을 얻는 삶이라는 길을 가시되, 사실상 다른 선택지는 없으니 가능한 뒤는 돌아보지 마세요.


Success would be the best revenge.
‘성공'이 가장 큰 복수일 겁니다.

KEY WORDS
■ divorce 이혼하다
■ cease 중단되다, 그치다
■ ongoing 계속 진행 중인
■ rift (사람들 사이의) 균열
■ homeless 노숙자의
■ full-time 풀타임의, 정규직의
■ disrespectful 무례한
■ hurtful 마음을 상하게[아프게] 하는
■ perturbed 혼란된, 동요한
■ side with ~의 편을 들다
■ devastating 엄청나게 충격적인
■ rewarding 보람 있는
■ on one's own 혼자, 혼자 힘으로
■ revenge 복수, 보복


Emailywjeon@ktimes.com Article ListMore articles by this reporter
 
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