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Huh Da-yoon, right, a student of Danwon High School, took this family photo four days before she boarded the ill-fated ferry Sewol. She is one of the nine victims whose bodies are believed to be inside the sunken ferry. / Courtesy of Huh Heung-hwan |
The hardest thing to comprehend is why his daughter, Da-yoon, has to remain under water.
The 18-year-old girl was among 476 passengers onboard the ferry Sewol, which capsized and sank in the waters off Jindo Island one year ago today.
Huh saw her for the last time on the eve of the ill-fated trip.
"It was around 11 p.m. Her sister and mother were helping her pack. She asked me if she could take one of my hats. She also asked for some money, which she had never done before," the father told The Korea Times, Tuesday, at Gwanghwamun Square in Seoul where he joined other families of the victims demanding answers from the government.
Huh gave his daughter 10,000 won. Tragically, the hat and money was ultimately returned to him as Da-yoon's suitcase and backpack were recovered from the ferry.
On the day of departure, he had to leave early in the morning for work so could not say good-bye to her. The news reached him at work from his sister-in-law, and he was still optimistic about Da-yoon's survival when he got to the island. "Because I heard everyone was rescued initially."
He said Da-yoon called her mom that night from the ship. "Da-yoon sent her mom Kakao messages and called her." He didn't elaborate what they talked about but said he wished he had spoken to her. He would not have a chance to speak with his daughter again.
Now, he can see her in photos in his cellphone and on two pillow cases his family's friend made for them. "My wife and I keep each pillow when we go to bed and say good-bye to her photo in the morning when we leave home."
Huh's smartphone photo features his two daughters sitting next to each other on a sofa on a summer's day. "This was from our first family trip," he said. His long work schedule at an iron sales store never allowed the family to take a vacation.
At the two girls' request, he took a week off in the summer of 2013 and went to Busan where their aunt lives. "Now, there's only one left," he said.
He showed another family photo.
"We took it four days before the accident," the father said. The photo shop owner sent him the photo via cell phone after the incident.
"You take things for granted until you lose them. I wish I had done more for her. If she were here, I would spend more time with her, hug her more often and say that I love her."
He said thinking about his older daughter Seo-yoon, 20, makes him feel equally sorry, as she is now left to deal with grief alone. Seo-yoon keeps busy with her school work at Baekseok University in Cheonan, South Chungcheong Province, and at a part-time job at a restaurant, but she spends most of her time alone.
"God, we haven't had a single meal together since January. When I go home at night, I am so tired that I jump into a shower and hurry to bed. In the morning, I leave home without even taking breakfast."
Huh also mentioned tension between him and Seo-yoon, as she aspires to be a policewoman. She studies police science at the university.
"I may sound like a bad father who tells her what not to do, but I don't want her to be a policewoman. I have seen enough of the spiritless police force through this. She saw that too. They blocked us all over so we could not move. Now, she wants to be part of that? I don't want that and I told her so."
His ailing wife is on his mind too. Park Eun-mi, 46, is losing her sight. Her doctor recommended surgery last year, but she did not want to go through with it because the body of Da-yoon had not yet been recovered. "She said she didn't want Da-yoon's body being found during her absence. She decided to wait until the body was recovered and she hasn't changed her mind."
The father says he has so much anger inside him.
"My daughter is still under water. Yet, the government, from the beginning, had no intention to do anything to save her," he said referring to the government's slow response in the initial rescue stage and delayed salvage plan.
He said he is fed up with the government's insincere attitude. "The government always offers compensation first. But you know what? If we take the money, the ship won't be salvaged and we will become a group of whining parents. We don't want money. I want my daughter back first."
He was adamant that he will fight until the ship gets salvaged and he sees Da-yoon's body. "I can't imagine myself going back to an ordinary life until I recover her body."