Social Changes Lead to Various Types of Family

By Kim Rahn
Staff Reporter

There is a woman named Antonia who has a daughter Danielle. A girl next door and a friend with a dozen children come to live with them. They get old as time goes by, and their children get married. Antonia dates an old man but never marries him. Daniella goes out with a woman.

The big group of people ― more than 20 including adoptive girl, live-in partners, and a lesbian couple _ is quite different from what is usually called ``family.'' However, the bonds among them look stronger than those of ordinary families.

Although not as radical as in the movie ``Antonia,'' a change in the concept and type of ``family'' has been coming in Korea.

We see a variety of families ― families with single parents, foreign spouses, adoptive children, and Miss Mom ― and the number of such ``untraditional'' families is growing.

``The factors to form a traditional type of family are: there should be father, mother and children; it should be the parents' first marriage; and the family members should live together. But the concept of the traditional family no longer fits to that of current families,'' Kang Hak-joong, head of the Korean Institute of Family Studies, said.

Various types of family

Having a foreigner in family is a huge change for Korea, a racially homogeneous country that has boasted the homogeneity.

The number of Koreans marrying foreigners is growing, with 15,234 in 2001, 15,913 in 2002, 25,658 in 2003, 35,447 in 2004, 43,121 in 2005 and 39,690 last year, according to the National Statistics Office. It accounts for 11 to 14 percent of Koreans' total marriage.

International marriage has grown especially in rural areas, and more than four out of 10 rural men married foreign women in 2006.

A growing number of divorcing couples has led to an increase in the number of families with single parents or remarried couples.

Divorces have almost doubled in the last decade ― in 1996, 79,895 couples ended their marriage, but the number kept rising to 119,982 in 2000, 135,014 in 2001 and 145,324 in 2002, and peaked at 167,096 in 2003.

The number has slightly decreased since, with 139,365 in 2004, 128,468 in 2005 and 125,032 in 2006, but the statistics shows more than one third of married couples are breaking up.

The growing number of divorces resulted in an increasing number of single-parent families and families with remarried mother, or father, or both. More than 60,700 people remarried in 1996, but the number rose to 67,550 in 2003, 75,565 in 2004 and 79,586 in 2005.

``Having divorced or remarried parents is not a defect anymore. As the divorce rate is higher among younger couples, we see an average three to four students in a class whose parents divorced,'' Lee So-young, an elementary school teacher in Seoul, said.

In Korea, there is a type of women similar to single mothers but called differently: Miss Mom.

While single mothers here usually refer to those who divorced or who have become pregnant through sexual intercourses but failed to marry the fathers, Miss Moms are those who refuse to marry but have babies, either through sexual intercourses or artificial insemination.

In July, radio presenter Her Soo-kyung announced that she is expecting a baby through an artificial insemination, but did not identify the father.

A survey by matchmaking company Sunoo showed 17.7 percent of 316 single women said they would be happy having children without necessarily having husbands, as they do not need financial support from husbands or others and do not want to be put under the traditional family system.

``I want a baby, and maybe it is the instinct of preservation of the species. But if I can preserve my species without a husband, I don't need to necessarily marry, do I? I make enough money to financially support myself and a baby if I have one, and I don't want to get married and deal with fuss of marriage life,'' a 32-year-old office worker said on condition of anonymity.

She said it is nothing different from a single's adopting a baby, which was permitted in January following a revision of the law on adoption.

The number of families with adoptive children is also growing.

Koreans, who attach great value on bloodline, used to shun adopting children. So, babies without parents were ― and are ― usually adopted in overseas countries, with Korea dishonored as the No. 1 baby exporting country.

Following the nation's effort to promote domestic adoption, more and more parents are inviting new members in their family. Open adoptions by some celebrities, including unmarried theater actress Yoon Suk-hwa, have also made people reconsider the new type of family.

For more varied society

Park Boo-jin, Myongji University's child development and education professor, said Korean society has begun to accept variety.

``Traditional, Confucian society valued norms, having only one pattern of life and one correct answer, which was applied to everyone. But current society is pluralistic, recognizing various types of life, value, and rule, thus various forms of family,'' said Park, also the president of the Korean Family Studies Association.

She said the society now attaches more value to individuals than community. ``A type of life or family a person chooses may not be in line with the society's major and typical type. Such choice was denounced in the past, but now, from the point of view focusing on individuals' happiness, it does not matter,'' she said.

Women's enhanced social status is also part of the changes, she noted. ``In the past, male adults were the center of the society, while female and children were subordinate to them. The society did not pay attention to happiness or quality of life of women and kids. But with women's and children's rights boosted, the center of a family is no longer the patriarch but every member of the family.''

However, such untraditional types of families are still minority of the society, facing discrimination, prejudices, and many difficulties in daily lives.

Children of multicultural families sometimes suffer discrimination or bullying by friends at schools due to their different appearance from Koreans'. Some of them have difficulty learning Korean language as one of their parents does not properly speak it.

Adoptive children or children of remarried couples are sometimes not welcomed among relatives or neighbors who value blood ties.

``Through education, Korean people are accustomed to the traditional Confucian norm, and prejudices created by it are not changing fast,'' Kang said.

He urged the nation's opinion leaders and those who can influence children's education to change their recognition first.

``Teachers, for example, when they need to consult about troubling students, still tell the children to `bring your mom with you.' It can hurt students who do not live with mothers for divorce or some other reasons. They are required to say, `bring your guardian with you,' so that the student can bring father, grandparents or someone else,'' Kang said.

``Although people's recognition will eventually change, it will take time. To speed it up, the nation should provide people, especially children, with opportunities to mix with various types of families,'' he said.

rahnita@koreatimes.co.kr