How to deal with office romance

By Park Ji-won, Nam Hyun-woo, Baek Byung-yeul

Obstacles can challenge us and make us stronger, as long as we're willing to do what it takes to overcome them.

The office, where we spend almost half of our day, has become one of the easiest places to find love these days. But an office romance is not without its challenges. Even though many companies in Korea do not prohibit romance in the office, dating a colleague is still somewhat taboo.

"There is a certain atmosphere that if colleagues became lovers, one of them should quit their job or move to another department," said Park Ji-yoon, a former announcer at a TV show who tied the knot in 2009 with Choi Dong-suk, another announcer at the same broadcast firm.

Yet, the stigma against office romance doesn't seem to stop employees from getting involved with each other.

According to a 2013 survey by a matchmaking company Dnoble, 37 percent of 200 workers polled said they are in a secret romance, 62 percent of whom are involved with someone in the office.

Long-time office couples have provided tips for how to keep an office romance secret.

Act like a stranger to each other in the office

Kim, a 32-year-old worker in a small fashion company in Seoul, has been keeping a secret relationship with his fellow worker Lee, 30, for two years.

According to Kim, keeping a relationship a secret depends on controlling one's emotions in the office.

"People in the office think we're not on good terms because we only say a few words to each other," Kim said.

"But what they don't know is we have been having trysts in secluded areas in the office such as the employee lounge. We first check there's no one in the office."

The movie poster shows Lee Dong-hee, left, and Chang Young, the main characters of "Very Ordinary Couple." The characters, played by actor Lee Min-ki and actress Kim Min-hee, were working at the same office for three years while keeping their relationship a secret.

Make the most of your business relationship

Kim says keeping one's relationship secret has another advantage. Since he and Lee appeared to have a strictly professional relationship, their boss has allowed them to go on overseas business trips together. Kim's company imports clothing from Italy, and its employees go on a business trip at least twice a year.

"Because we do our jobs successfully during business trips, no problem has arisen from our relationship. In addition, it is rather a great opportunity for us to travel together without additional costs," Kim said.

The couple will get married this year. Needless to say, everybody was surprised when they announced their relationship to their co-workers.

Kim concluded the interview by saying, "In my opinion, everything was possible because both of us have devoted ourselves to our job as well as to our relationship."

Keep your distance from the company

Choi Ji-woo, 28, an office worker at the communication division of a local company, kept her romantic relationship with her co-worker secret for 10 months from her other colleagues.

"Discretion is our top priority in our relationship," she said.

When they are on a date, Choi and her boyfriend don't wear office attire that might remind of them being at work.

She said she sometimes feels frustrated, like a celebrity couple hiding from the paparazzi, but feels that keeping their distance from the office is important for them to continue and enjoy their relationship.

Maintaining discretion does have a silver lining. "When we date, we agreed to choose a location at least 15 stations away from the company. So we are likely to go suburbs, or even abroad," she added.

The couple has already traveled to five provinces in Korea and flown to four other countries to go on a date.

"Because of this secret relationship, I was able to do more things than when I was in my previous relationship. I cannot wait to discover other dating destinations and save money for our next trip."

Be cool once the relationship is made public

Park Ki-hyeon, a 30-year-old worker at a local insurance company, began a relationship with Yoo, a then 24-year-old new employee at the company. According to him, Yoo was interested right from the beginning.

The couple took several steps to keep their relationship secret. They didn't use the company's intra-office messenger to avoid revealing their romance to the rest of the office.

In addition, as a supervisor, Park had to be harsher on Yoo than on other newcomers to avoid suspicion about the nature of their relationship.

"That has been very tough. Every time we're out of the office, she cried complaining about my intentional strictness toward her. I felt very sorry for her," Park said.

However, their office affair was revealed when an executive at the company found that Yoo's smartphone wallpaper was Park's photo.

"I was reprimanded by the executive, who said ‘you are neglecting your work by dating your subordinate,'" he said.

Meanwhile, Yoo was also constantly teased by senior female colleagues, who said, "It's always the quiet ones."

The couple ignored such hostilities and pretended that nothing happened. Over time, they overcame the difficulties of their workplace romance.

"As time went by, people forgot about us being in the relationship. Our romance was just more gossip for bored office workers who spend more than 12 hours chained to their desks," Yoo said.

Matchmakers say that avoiding a supervisor-supervisee relationship is the key to having a successful workplace romance, adding that failed office romances often result in one person, willfully or not, leaving the job. But Park and Yoo's relationship show that a couple can stay cool when their secret relationship is made public.