 Parents attend an explanatory session on 2011 university admission at an auditorium in Banpo-gu, Seoul. Korean parents are doing everything they can to gather as much information as possible for their children. / Korea Times file |
Mothers desperate not to miss out on `mom network'
By Han Sang-hee
On a chilly Sunday, 44-year-old Lim was waiting to apply for the Test of English Proficiency developed by Seoul National University (TEPS) on behalf of her son at a high school in Yangjae-dong, southern Seoul _ for four hours in the empty, concrete hall. Since her son missed the application date for the month’s test, she came to apply on behalf of him for the next one while he was studying in a nearby cafe.
``The application is a first-come first-serve basis and he really needed to take the test, so I came here early in the morning just in case he would get bumped. I told him to study until the last minute so I’ve been waiting here for around three hours,’’ she said, standing in the front of the many mothers and fathers who were there for the same reason.
Korea’s education drive is no longer news, and many efforts have been made to lower the burden and costs of private education.
But the so-called ``wind of the skirts’’ ― referring to Korean moms’ notorious intervention in schooling of their kids (blowing past each other generating wind in their haste) ― is showing no signs of winding down yet.
In the past, the wind mostly blew in schools with them “taking care” of teachers. Mothers would mostly flex their muscle through money envelopes, known here as “chonji,” and seasonal gifts.
According to a survey by the Anti-Corruption and Civil Rights Commission last year, 18.6 percent of some 1,600 parents said that they have given some sort of gift to their children’s teachers, while 53.2 percent of these argued that this was not bribery.
The wind has turned these days ― parents are competing with each other to gather as much information as possible for their kids.
``It’s an information war. Schools hold meetings and conferences for parents because the university entrance process is so complicated that they feel they need to be fully aware of what is happening and thus, help their children enter a better university,’’ said Kim Yeon-su, the mother of a high school student.
According to Kim, whose daughter goes to a foreign language high school in Seoul, the conferences and meetings are always packed with mothers, all eager to get as much as information as possible.
This info-war has turned into a new type of stress among mothers. In a survey carried out by the Samsung Economic Research Institute in September last year on some 1,900 working mothers, 44.4 percent said their biggest stress was being abandoned from the so-called ``mom network.’’
Not being able to fit in and share information was the biggest problem working moms had, making it another important reason for them quitting their jobs.
Lee Eun-joo, 36, was an office worker who enjoyed her job and also felt it necessary due to the cost of her 16-year-old’s studies and cram schools. But after her son entered high school, she started to feel anxious and finally decided to quit her job.
``I think I always felt a bit worried about all the meetings and information I was missing out on by working. I thought I was doing what was best for my son, but it wasn’t enough. I needed to jump in while my son studied,’’ she said.
``I think the number of gifts and money envelopes dwindled a bit because parents know that the teacher is not the only person who guarantees everything. They hold meetings, get together whenever possible and ask for information regarding education from teachers. The wind is still there but in a different direction,’’ said Kim, a teacher from a foreign language high school in Seoul.
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