(463) Foreign Self-Aid

By Andrei Lankov

Many of my male friends and colleagues have Korean wives, and nearly all of them related how difficult it once was to win approval from their would-be parents-in-law. There were exceptions, of course, but until the mid-1990s both anecdotal evidence and opinion polls suggested that Koreans did not welcome the idea of a foreigner marrying into the family.

And then things changed _ as they always change in Korea: all of a sudden and very fast. The previous decade became the time when mixed marriages became commonplace in Korea. In 2005, 43,121 (or 13.7% of the total) Korean marriages were "international" _ that is, included a foreign citizen as one of the spouses. This is one of the world's highest levels. Among farmers, an astonishing 35% married a foreign bride!

Overwhelmingly such marriages are concluded between Korean farmers and women from developing countries. Those bachelors cannot find brides since young women do not see them as attractive marriage partners. On the other hand, for young women from many countries even a poor Korean farmhouse is a paradise: it has running water, electricity, TV and fridge _ all considered luxuries in many parts of the world.

These marriages are often criticized, and recently a rather weird article in a major daily sparked yet another campaign, carrying all the charges of ``commodification" and ``trafficking.'' However, I sometimes suspect that people involved in these campaigns are motivated more by nationalism (not to use the stronger R word), than by any lofty concern about rights of the women.

Most of the foreign brides are Chinese, but in farming and fishing communities it was different: in 2005 most foreigners who married farmers were Vietnamese, the first time Vietnam has overtaken China.

The first mixed marriages between Korean males and Vietnamese females took place in the 1960s when South Korean army units fought in Indochina, but these were isolated cases. The marriages became possible again in 1992 when diplomatic relations between two countries were re-established, but real growth began around 2001 when there were 134 such marriages registered. In 2005 the number had jumped to 5822.

In most cases the marriages are arranged by brokers, who describe Korea as an earthly paradise. The popularity of Korean soaps also reinforces this image, so women have a very rosy picture of the country where they are going to. They do not quite appreciate that TV dramas usually depict the life of the rather privileged middle class, not the farmers whom they are most likely to marry.

In 2005, Thanh Ha Minh, a post-graduate at the Seoul National University, conducted a large study of the Vietnamese wives which revealed much about their background, motivation, and problems. In the survey, the four most frequently cited major reasons for making the decision to marry were, ``economic reasons,'' ``parental pressure,'' ``dreams and fantasies about Korea'' and ``impact of the 'Korean wave' in pop culture.'' Thus, it all largely revolves around money and related matters. As Ms. Thanh Ha Minh puts it ``Most of the Vietnamese women who marry Korean men are daughters of poor farming families.''

For the foreigner-marrying Korean men, the reasons cited were different: ``the disdain Korean women feel towards those husbands who are not economically successful,'' ``dislike of Korean women,'' ``the similarities between Vietnamese and Koreans in appearance'' (obviously, an assumption that neither woman nor their children would stand out in a crowd).

Most of the girls marry men of a considerably older age. In a sample studied by Thanh Ha Minh, 85% of all couples had an age difference of more than ten years, and for 15% the difference was in excess of 20 years. Needless to say, it is the husbands who are older than their wives, not the other way around.

It is quite clear, that most of those marriages are driven by pragmatic considerations, but we should not forget that the same is applicable to a majority of marriages throughout the world. The idea of love as the sole legitimate reason for getting married is very recent (maybe, a century or so old), and so far it has prevailed only in the more affluent parts of the globe. Still, a modern consciousness feels uncomfortable about the idea of a young woman going to a foreign country to live with a man whom she has never seen before, on the assumption that this would secure her livelihood (even though this is a pretty correct description of, say, 95% of marriages concluded before 1900).

So far, the track record is mixed. In Thanh Ha Minh's research, 18% of the Vietnamese wives stated that they had been subjected to physical violence. They are often subjected to strict control, have no access even to small amounts of pocket money, and they cannot talk to their families over the phone. The usual scourge of traditional families, conflict between a young wife and her mother-in-law seems to be frequently present as well. At the same time, there are stories of successful and happy unions.

But one thing is clear: Korea is not a mono-ethnic country any more _ or rather it is losing this peculiarity at an amazing rate. In a few decades many thousands of people of various ethnic backgrounds will be seen on Seoul's streets. The mixed marriages are not the only source of a growing ethnic diversity. Perhaps, the migration of foreign workers is even more important _ but that is another story.

Prof. Andrei Lankov was born in St. Petersburg, Russia, and now teaches at Kookmin University in Seoul.