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Fri, August 12, 2022 | 09:56
Dear Abby
[DEAR ABBY] Couple's plans hit a snag
[디어 애비] 뜻밖의 장애에 부딪친 한 커플의 모든 계획들
Posted : 2018-11-05 15:00
Updated : 2019-05-07 18:31
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[디어 애비로 배우는 네이티브 생생 영어]


☞
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We are planning on moving to California together in a few months. I flew to Monterey to job hunt, and he is supposed to be flying in soon. However, last night I found out he and his buddy went to a strip club.

애비선생님께: 남자친구와 저는 일년 반 정도 만났어요. 몇 달 안에 캘리포니아로 이사할 계획을 하고 있죠. 제가 먼저 직장을 구하러 몬터레이로 날아갔고 그는 곧 따라오기로 했어요. 하지만 어젯밤 그와 그이 친구가 스트립클럽에 갔다는 사실을 알게 됐어요.


My boyfriend knows I'm uncomfortable with him going to strip clubs, and he assured me that they would not be going when we spoke on the phone earlier in the evening. He says I'm controlling and childish for being angry at him.

남자친구가 스트립클럽에 가는 것을 제가 싫어한다는 것을 그도 알아요. 어제 저녁에 우리가 통화할 때도 그런 곳을 안 간다고 약속했죠. 그는 제가 그를 통제하고 화내는 것을 유치하다고 말해요.


I told him it's either me or the strip clubs - mostly just to see how he would react.

그의 반응을 보고자, 그에게 저나 스트립클럽 둘 중 하나만 고르라고 말했어요.


His response was that freedom of choice is very important to him. I even went as far as to say if he feels the need to go to strip clubs, then I would start stripping on the side to spite him.

그의 반응은 선택의 자유가 매우 중요하다 였어요. 저는 너무 화가나서, 그가 스트립클럽에 또 간다면 옆에서 똑같이 따라하며 그를 괴롭힐 거라 했어요.


I'm tempted to cancel his ticket to California. I don't want him flying here if we are just going to fight.

그의 캘리포니아행 티켓을 취소하고 싶어요. 계속 이렇게 다툴 거면 그가 여기로 오지 않길 바래요.


Is this situation worth the cost of a relationship? How do I deal with someone so stubborn to the point he can't see when he's in the wrong? Abby, he is in the wrong, isn't he?

이런 관계를 지킬 가치가 있을까요? 본인의 잘못을 보지 못하고 고집 센 그를 어떻게 해야 하죠? 그의 잘못이에요 안 그런가요?


- CHOICE IS CLEAR
- 선택은 정해진 독자



☞ DEAR CHOICE: A wise woman chooses her battles carefully. If your boyfriend spent more than an occasional evening hanging out in strip clubs, I can see why it would be a deal breaker. But unless you left something important out of your letter - like the fact that he did more than look - it doesn't appear that he does. You escalated the situation and you shouldn't have.

선택을 앞둔 독자님께: 현명한 여성은 조심스럽게 전투를 선택합니다. 남자친구가 때때로 스트립클럽에서 논다면, 이는 충분히 이별의 요인이라고 봐요. 하지만 편지에 쓰여있는 것 외에 남자친구가 더 심한 짓을 한 게 아니라면 당신은 그러지 말아야 할 상황까지 확대 해석을 했을 수도 있어요.


However, if you feel so strongly about strip clubs, perhaps you should consider finding another man to spend your life with because it really isn't possible to control the actions of another adult.

하지만 당신이 스트립클럽에 갖고 있는 생각이 확고하다면, 당신의 여생을 함께 보낼 다른 남자를 찾아야 한다고 생각해요. 성인의 행동을 조종한다는 것은 불가능에 가깝기 때문이죠.



KEY WORDS
■ spite 괴롭히다
■ be tempted to ~하고 싶다
■ deal with somebody ~를 대하다
■ stubborn 완고한, 고집스러운
■ in the wrong 잘못을 한
■ deal breaker 관계를 끝내는 요인
■ escalate 확대하다



[코리아타임스위클리 - 지미홍 편집장]
"시사와 영어를 한 번에"
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