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Tue, August 16, 2022 | 00:19
Dear Abby
[DEAR ABBY] Woman finds ways to mend lost dream of motherhood
[디어 애비] 엄마가 되는 꿈을 잃어버린 여성의 치유 방법
Posted : 2018-10-15 15:00
Updated : 2019-05-07 18:32
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[디어 애비로 배우는 네이티브 생생 영어]


DEAR ABBY: I have some suggestions for "Longing to Be a Mom", whose husband doesn't want a child.

애비선생님께: 남편이 아이를 원치 않던, "엄마가 되고싶어요"라는 과거 사연에 좋은 의견이 있어요.


If you talk your husband into it, are you prepared to do all the parenting while he sits staring at the TV or starts working longer hours or worse? Are you prepared for the lack of connection that child might have with his/her father?

당신이 남편에게 이 문제에 관해 이야기를 한다면, 남편이 앉아서 TV를 보거나 늦게까지 야근할 때 양육과 관련된 모든 것을 혼자 다 할 준비가 되었나요? 당신의 아이가 아버지와 감정의 교류에 결핍을 느껴도 괜찮나요?


Grieve your loss. Losing the possibility for motherhood is a great loss. Find a support group or counselor who deals with loss.

당신의 상실감을 이해해요. 엄마가 된다는 기회를 잃는 것은 큰 슬픔이죠. 당신의 슬픔을 지지해줄 사람들이나 상담전문가를 만나보아요.


Believe me, I understand. My boyfriend told me he wanted children. Motherhood was my dream, and I lost my only child to an early miscarriage. Then my husband revealed he'd never really wanted children; he only said he did because he wanted to marry me.

믿어주세요, 저는 당신을 이해해요. 제 남자친구는 제게 아이를 원한다고 말했죠. 엄마가 되는 것은 제 꿈이었고 저는 유일한 아이를 일찍이 유산으로 잃었어요. 그리고 남편은 사실 자기는 아이를 원치 않았다는 것을 고백했죠. 그는 단지 저랑 결혼하기 위해 거짓말을 했던거죠.


So I made a conscious decision to live a different life than I had planned, but a full and satisfying one. Thousands of children need someone to care. Explore opportunities to love a child who doesn't have your blood, but who could have your heart.

그래서 저는 계획했던 것과 다르게 인생을 살겠다는 의도적인 결정을 내렸고 전적으로 만족해요. 수많은 아이들은 보살핌을 필요로 해요. 당신의 피를 갖지는 않지만, 당신의 마음을 가지게 되는 아이를 사랑할 수 있는 기회를 발견해보아요.


Help at a church's children's department or a Girl Scout troop, tutor children at a local school, offer to take a single mom's children to a park for an hour. The possibilities are endless.

교회 어린이부, 걸스카우트, 지역학교의 아이들을 도와주세요. 미혼모의 아이를 공원에 한 시간 정도 데려가 보아요. 기회는 무한합니다.


No, it's not the same as bearing your own children. But even if one dream was dashed, take heart: You can still fulfill new ones.

물론 당신의 아이를 직접 갖는 것과는 다르겠죠. 하지만, 꿈이 내동댕이 쳐지더라도 힘내세요! 다른 누군가를 당신이 꽉 채울 수도 있답니다.


- HELEN IN WASHINGTON
- 워싱턴에서 헬렌



DEAR HELEN: Thank you for offering sensible advice to help "Longing" as well as other women in her situation.

헬렌에게: 아이를 갈망하는 그녀뿐 아니라 그녀의 상황에 놓여진 다른 여성들을 돕고자 하는 당신의 합리적인 조언에 고마워요.


Readers suggested other ways to mother children who are already in the world: joining the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, volunteering at a day care facility or after-school program, contacting Boys and Girls Clubs of America, cuddling newborns at a hospital and becoming involved in a homeless shelter's Adopt-a-Family program.

독자들도 의형제자매 프로그램, 보육원 봉사활동, 아이들을 돕는 조직에 연락, 병원 신생아 돌보기, 불우한 가정 돕기 프로그램 참여와 같은 이미 세상에 나온 아이들을 돌보는 다른 방법들을 제안해 주셨어요.



KEY WORDS
■ miscarriage 유산
■ reveal 드러내다, 밝히다, 폭로하다
■ conscious decision 의도적인 결정
■ dash 내동댕이치다
■ sensible 합리적인
■ cuddle 껴안다
■ newborn 신생아



[코리아타임스위클리 - 지미홍 편집장]
"시사와 영어를 한 번에"
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