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Wed, May 31, 2023 | 03:16
Dear Abby
DEAR ABBYWoman who left bad marriage hesitates to take next step
[디어 애비] 불행한 결혼 생활을 그만 둔 여성, 다음 단계를 밟는데 망설이다
Posted : 2019-06-10 08:00
Updated : 2019-08-22 17:32
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[디어애비로 배우는 네이티브 생생 영어]


DEAR ABBY: Last summer, after 24 years of marriage, I finally summoned the nerve to take my teenage daughter and leave my emotionally abusive husband. We are both thriving now.


애비 선생님께: 지난 여름 24년 간의 결혼 생활 끝에 저는 마침내 십대 청소년 딸을 데리고 정서적 폭력을 행사하는 남편을 떠날 용기를 냈습니다. 현재 저희는 둘 다 잘 살고 있어요.


I have been in therapy, lost almost 45 pounds and have rediscovered my self-confidence all over again. A friend I have known for more than 10 years has expressed interest in dating me. I like him very much, but I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to date yet. What do you think?

저는 치료를 받으면서 거의 45파운드(약 20kg) 가까이 살이 빠졌고 제 모든 자신감을 되찾았습니다. 10년 이상 알고 지낸 한 친구가 저와 데이트를 하자는 관심을 표했어요. 저는 그를 매우 좋아하지만 아직 데이트를 하는 것이 적절한가에 대해서는 확신이 없습니다. 어떻게 생각하시나요?


- TENTATIVE IN MASS.

- 메사추세츠 주에서 머뭇거리는 독자


DEAR TENTATIVE: Tempting as this is, proceed with caution. When a person has been emotionally starved for a long time, then begins to feel attractive, accepted and validated again, the result can be euphoria ― a powerful "high." Right now you need to be rational.

머뭇거리는 독자 분께: 이것에 마음이 끌리는 만큼 조심스럽게 진행하세요. 사람이 오랫동안 정서적으로 굶주리고 나면 사람의 마음을 끌고 남성의 고백에 응하게 되어 다시 확인을 받는 기분이 들기 시작하고 그 결과는 강력한 ‘도취 상태의' 희열이 될 수 있습니다. 지금 당장은 이성적이 될 필요가 있어요.


What I think about your dating this man is less important than what your therapist thinks right now. Please make this question a priority during your next sessions because the insight you'll gain into yourself will help you not only in a relationship with this man ― if you decide to have one ― but in future ones as well.

독자 분께서 이 남성 분과 데이트를 하시는 것에 대한 제 생각은 독자 분의 치료사가 지금 당장 생각하고 있는 것 보다 덜 중요합니다. 독자 분께서 자기 스스로에 대해 얻을 통찰이 이 남성 분과의 관계뿐만 아니라 (독자 분께서 갖고자 하신다면) 미래의 남자들에게도 도움을 줄 것이므로 다음 상담에서 이 질문을 최우선적으로 하세요.


** ** ** ** **


DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago, I was in a relationship with a man I thought was my soul mate. (I'll call him Louis.) We were together for two years and had planned on getting married right after college. Louis ended up breaking the engagement and six months later married another woman. I was shocked and heartbroken. We went our separate ways.

애비 선생님께: 7년 전 저는 소울 메이트라고 생각했던 한 남성과 관계를 맺었습니다. (루이스라고 부를게요.) 저희는 2년 동안 함께 있었고 대학 졸업 후에는 바로 결혼을 할 계획도 있었어요. 루이스는 결국 그 약속을 깨고 말았습니다. 그리고 6개월 후에 다른 여자랑 결혼을 했지요. 저는 충격과 상처를 받았어요. 저희는 각자의 길을 갔습니다.


Louis contacted me recently. He apologized for the past and said he was out of his mind for losing me. He also said he was recently divorced and wants to see me to "catch up."

최근 루이스가 제게 연락을 해왔어요. 과거를 후회하고 있으며 저를 놓친 것은 제정신으로 한 일이 아니라고 했어요. 그리고 최근 이혼을 했으며 저를 ‘잡기 위해' 보고 싶다고 했습니다.


I have healed from the heartache and moved on, but I am not currently in a relationship. I am content with my life. The problem is, my curiosity and my heart are tripping me up. I'm wary of falling back in love with Louis and don't want to reopen any old wounds.

저는 심적 고통에서 치유되었고 잘 지내왔어요. 하지만 현재 사귀고 있는 사람은 없습니다. 지금 제 삶에 만족해요. 문제는 제 호기심과 마음이 제 발목을 잡고 있다는 거에요. 루이스와 다시 사랑에 빠지는 건 경계하고 있고 옛 상처들을 다시 꺼내보기도 싫습니다.


What do you think, Abby? Should I meet him and see what happens, or let the past stay where it is?

애비 선생님, 어떻게 생각하시나요? 그를 만나서 어떻게 될 지를 두고봐야 할까요? 아니면 과거는 과거로 남겨두어야 할까요?


- OVER HIM? IN NEW YORK
- 뉴욕에서 다시 그에게?


DEAR OVER HIM?: Louis may be a cad ― or he may have become more mature in the last seven years. Because you are curious, I think you should go. But if he starts wooing you again, do not get serious unless you have had couples counseling. It's important that you clearly understand what went wrong in your romance the first time so it doesn't happen again.

다시 그에게? 님께: 루이스 씨는 비열한 사람일 수도 있고 혹은 어쩌면 7년 전 보다는 더 성숙해졌을 지도 있습니다. 독자 분께서 호기심을 갖고 계시므로 제 생각에는 만나보셔야 할 것 같아요. 하지만 그가 다시 독자 분께 구혼을 하기 시작하면 두 분이 연인 상담을 받지 않는 한은 진지하게 받아들이셔서는 안 되요. 처음 연애에서 무엇이 두 분에게 문제이었는지를 명확히 아시고 다시 이런 일이 일어나지 않도록 하시는 게 중요합니다.


KEY WORDS
■ nerve 용기, 대담성
(= one's steadiness and courage in a demanding situation)
e.g.) It takes a lot of nerve to be a bomb disposal expert. 폭탄 처리 전문가가 되는 것은 엄청난 용기를 필요로 한다.
■ euphoria 행복감, 희열
(= extreme happiness, sometimes more that is reasonable in a particular situation)
e.g.) The were in a state of euphoria for days after the won the prize. 그들은 상을 타고 나서 며칠 동안이나 극도의 희열 상태에 있었다.
■ trip somebody up 다리를 걸어 넘어뜨리다
(= to fall because you hit your foot on something, or to make someone fall by putting your foot in front of their foot)
e.g.) I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to trip you up. 정말 미안해. 네 다리를 걸려고 한 건 아니었어.
■ wary 경계하는, 조심하는
(= not completely trusting or certain about something or someone)
e.g.) I'm a bit wary of giving people my address when I don't know them very well. 나는 잘 모르는 사람에게 주소를 알려주는 것은 다소 조심한다.
■ cad (여자에게) 비열한 인간[놈]
(= a man who behaves badly or dishonestly, especially to women)
■ woo <다소 고어> (남자가) 구애[구혼]하다
(= try to gain the love of (a woman), especially with a view to marriage)
e.g.) He wooed her with quotes from Shakespeare. 그는 셰익스피어의 말을 인용하여 그녀에게 구혼했다.


 
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