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Ann, left, and Ellen welcome another year full of fun and adventure as they celebrate their third birthday. |
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Dear Ellen and Ann,
I know this is much too cliche, but time really does fly.
I can't believe we're already here celebrating your third birthday.
Where did my fragile and tiny twin babies go? What happened to my fearlessly crawling and cruising toddlers?
Now I have Ann pointing out to me, "Mom, your shirt is dirty," while Ellen casually pours herself a cup of water straight from the purifier.
Hands-down impressive.
You girls have come quite a long way, and your father and I can't stop marveling over how much you two have grown, how well you can speak, how hilariously you interact with each other ― and also with random people at the grocery store ― and just how you two simply are every day.
Sometimes your big-girl look and talk comes off so naturally to me that I make the mistake of forgetting that you are, after all, still little girls.
Yes, of course you are.
You two have only been on this earth for three measly years.
Ann, it wasn't until just three days ago that you stopped pooping in your diaper. (Thank God we accomplished potty training before your third birthday.)
Ellen, you still throw a fit when you have trouble putting your sneakers on. (You have it on backwards again!)
You two break into tantrums, you want to be held, and sometimes you even want to be fed.
I try to accommodate you as much as I possibly can, but I know I'm guilty of brushing off certain requests without even giving them a second thought.
I was probably caught up in some kind of chaotic situation with Lauren, the "baby" sister.
But whatever the reason, I want to take this opportunity to say I'm sorry.
I want to say sorry for all the things I could've, would've and should've done with and for you two, but didn't do because of the realities of life in our household.
I want to say sorry for putting dirty dishes first before sitting down for a tea party with you.
I want to say sorry for rushing the pan of cake batter into the oven before letting you girls get your one last chance to stir.
I want to say sorry for not letting the three of you play in the bath tub longer because mom was just too tired.
Oh the list goes on.
Why is it that these regretful moments are crossing my mind particularly on this day you turn three?
Because it just painfully hit me that you, my precious babies, are growing up too fast.
Your baby fat is almost all gone now, your hands and feet no longer look itty bitty, and your baby talk is slowly, but surely changing into proper words and longer sentences.
Come September, you'll be off to preschool, even if it's just a couple days a week, and at church, you'll be graduating to the older age group.
I know that all these big changes ahead will only make you grow up faster.
Growing up well and healthy ― that is the one biggest wish I have for you, but why in the world am I feeling the way I'm feeling?
You see, you girls aren't the only ones growing up here. Mom is too.
Just as you two bloom and blossom, I need to realize that you are no longer my little ones that I used to feed, change and put to sleep for the good part of the past 36 months.
You declare your independence more and more each day, and that is something I need to practice handing to you, happily and willingly.
I often see you girls wanting to play with the older kids at the playground, eat with adult utensils at the dining table and do a bunch of other things that you're simply a little too small for.
All in due time, Ellen and Ann.
Those days will come up right before your eyes so soon ― so soon.
As for now, you two are perfect right where you are.
So on this day, let's celebrate and cherish the Ellen and Ann that you are at this very moment.
Don't rush to grow up too fast, my loves. Wait for mommy.
Happy birthday.
Love you with all my heart.