Diverse forms of family gain spotlight in Korean media

Policies required to back up shifts in family structure

By Park Han-sol

Japanese celebrity Sayuri Fujita and her son, Zen / Captured from Sayuri's Instagram

In November 2020, Sayuri Fujita, a Japanese TV personality based in Seoul, shook up the Korean entertainment scene when her decision to become a single mother by choice was made public.

She gave birth to her son, Zen, who was conceived through in vitro fertilization (IVF) in Japan using donor sperm, as the treatment remains a virtually impossible option for unmarried women in Korea.

"Becoming a single mother was not an easy decision, but it is also not a shameful decision. I want to thank my son for making me a proud mother," the 42-year-old wrote on her Instagram account.

Months later, her appearance on KBS' reality show, "The Return of Superman," sharing the everyday struggles of parenting, grabbed the headlines once again for being the first time the hit show openly featured the life of a single parent since it began airing in 2013.

In recent years, Sayuri has not been the only subject of popular media attention for representing an "alternative" form of family, which are no longer a rare phenomenon here, amid the steadily declining number of conventional, two-parent households.

JTBC's reality program, "Brave Solo Parenting: I Raise," which ended last December, kicked off with the aim of bringing in celebrities who serve as the primary caregivers of their children after divorce. The show garnered attention for presenting both the joys and challenges of single parenthood without glitz and glamour, including the journey of Lee Ji-hyun, a former member of girl group Jewelry, to raise her young son who has ADHD.

Narratives involving diverse forms of family have also hit the bookshelves in Korea. An essay collection, "I am Single by Choice and I Raise Children," is penned by author Baek Ji-seon, who, after witnessing the unhappy and abusive marriage of her parents that lasted for years, decided to forgo marriage and instead adopt two daughters on her own.

By sharing her own stories of adopting, nurturing and disciplining her children as a single working woman, with the help of her mother and siblings, the author offers a peek into another non-traditional ― yet perfectly viable ― form of family.

"Some people fall into a trap [in terms of their thinking about relationships] because they are fixated on the idea that families can only be formed through marriage," she writes. "But it's not uncommon for one's own spouse to be the one who threatens the safety and wellbeing of their children the most. The very thought that only a family with both a mother and a father is normal can be harmful for the kids in the end."

Another book, "Lives of Women Forming a Two-Person Household," presents two friends who have chosen to live together ― not as temporary roommates, but as members of a semi-permanent family.

The writers explain that they came to form a two-person household not only to share the high costs of rent and living expenses, but also to have a chance to build an emotional connection with one another as women who remain single by choice.

"It was the moment when our vague dream of building 'a sustainable sisterhood' became a reality," they write in the book, adding that for them, becoming a family marked the beginning of a journey of living together as two independent women.

The book covers of "I am Single by Choice and I Raise Children" (2022), left, and "Lives of Women Forming a Two-Person Household" (2021) / Courtesy of Another Uzu, txt.kcal

The fact that the mainstream media has begun to bring to the fore such stories deviating from the conventional course of a life of marriage and childbirth is one telling indication of the gradual weakening of the traditional family structure in Korea.

Recently, the country has seen a rapid increase in the proportion of single-person households, which stands at 9,487,295 as of January, or 40.4 percent of all households, according to the Ministry of the Interior and Safety.

The number of couples tying the knot from January to November 2021 reached an all-time low at 172,748, a Statistics Korea report says. The same can be said for the average number of children a woman bears in her life time, already the world's lowest at 0.84 per woman in 2020, and it is expected to drop further to 0.7 by 2024, according to the finance ministry's forecast.

These statistics are backed up by Koreans' changing perceptions toward diverse forms of family.

In the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family's latest survey of 1,500 individuals aged between 19 and 79, 68.5 percent of the respondents said that people living under the same roof and sharing their livelihood can be recognized as a "family," even if their relationships are not defined by marriage or blood ties. Further, nearly half of the participants ― or 49 percent ― accept the idea of giving birth without getting married.

"In a way, the shows and publications featuring non-traditional families are reflecting the changing norms and reality of Korea," culture critic Kim Hern-sik told The Korea Times. "But at the same time, these kinds of cultural content, especially ones bringing in influential stars and celebrities like Sayuri, can play an important role in further reducing prejudice and spreading awareness of the diversified forms of family and child-rearing."

But this cultural shift must be accompanied correspondingly by appropriate policies and welfare systems that come into effect, he added.

"Of course, there are still members of the older generation who are used to the idea of a traditional family [meaning two parents and their children, as well as extended family members, living in one household]. And it's up to the policymakers to mitigate the generational conflicts that can arise, while also providing practical systemic support for different types of families."

Minister of Gender Equality and Family Chung Young-ai speaks during a press conference announcing the 2021-2025 All Families Policy, at the Government Complex Seoul, in this April 27, 2021 photo. Yonhap

Under the current Civil Act, only units formed by marriage, childbirth or adoption are recognized as families. This limited legal definition has affected the lives of those whose families deviate from these accepted norms, as it determines policies regarding childcare, tax subsidies, inheritance, housing loans and medical emergencies.

Against this backdrop, the gender ministry unveiled its five-year All Families policy plan last year to expand and re-establish the legal boundaries of what constitutes a "family" ― with the aim of expanding the definition to non-traditional unions such as unmarried partnerships, foster families and single-person households.

Kim highlighted the fact that the portrayal of "alternative" forms of family in the mass media, such as on entertainment shows, should be executed with caution, as it can trivialize the real-life challenges faced by the participants for the sake of cheap laughs and tears.

"Moreover, familial life including childcare is something that is not a one-off experience; instead it requires constant follow-up stories to truly reflect its changing needs, problems and growth," he added.

Therefore, the synergy between the broadcasting and publication industries can come in handy, he said. "As the long-term depiction of one family may be difficult in the broadcasting environment, books can take on that role, which can then be popularized through television shows once again."