On Korea’s Parents’ Day, gratitude can come in cash

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SEATTLE — When Parents’ Day approaches in Korea, many adult children do not spend days searching for the perfect gift. They open their banking app.

For Korean families, sending money to parents on May 8 is not seen as impersonal. It can be practical, respectful and familiar, a way to say thank you with support that parents can actually use.

A recent survey of 2,000 adults in Korea by Lotte Members, the membership and data unit of retail giant Lotte Group, found that cash was both the gift parents most wanted for Parent’s Day and the gift adult children most wanted to give. Around 71 percent of respondents picked cash as the gift they wanted to receive, while nearly 84 percent chose it as the gift they wanted to give.

For Koreans in the U.S. with parents back in Korea, instead of handing over a cash envelope after dinner, they may send a wire transfer, followed by a text message or a late-night phone call.

“In Korea, giving cash is just the easiest way to show you care,” said Grace Lee, 42, who regularly sends money to her parents in Seoul. “Here, it feels a little different. You’re expected to spend time together, not just send something.”

In the U.S., Mother’s Day traditions tend to revolve around flowers, cards and shared meals. A National Retail Federation survey found that flowers remain the most popular Mother’s Day gift category this year, with 75 percent of shoppers planning to buy them. Greeting cards followed closely at 74 percent, while 63 percent planned special outings such as dinner or brunch.

For Korean Americans, the two customs often sit side by side. A Parents’ Day cash gift may be handled in a few taps, while Mother’s Day or Father’s Day in the U.S. can mean booking a restaurant, buying a card or planning a special outing.

The convenience helps, especially for those living abroad. But it does not erase the awkward question behind the money: How much is enough?

Some say the amount matters less than the message. It tells parents they are remembered, even from thousands of miles away. But for those also observing the U.S. side of the calendar, between Mother’s Day brunches and cards and Father’s Day visits, the cost can start to pile up.

“For my parents in Korea, sending money feels natural. They would rather choose what they need,” said Hannah Cho, 39, who lives in Seattle and has parents in Seoul and in-laws nearby. “But with my in-laws here, it would feel strange to send cash. We usually do dinner or flowers. It’s the same thank you, but you can’t say it the same way to everyone.”

As a result, Koreans here make a small seasonal calculation: what to send, when to call and how to honor both family cultures without letting any of it feel routine.

“It adds up,” Lee said. “Not just the money, but thinking about what each side expects.”