Sex, lies and video games: China's heated debate over sexism, misogyny

Zhou Xiaoxuan, also known as Xianzi, a feminist figure who rose to prominence during China's #MeToo movement, holds documents as she arrives to attend a hearing in her sexual harassment case against prominent television host Zhu Jun at the Beijing No. 1 Intermediate People's Court in Beijing on August 10, 2022. AFP-Yonhap

A young woman expelled from university for having sex with a foreigner. A man jailed for raping his fiancee after paying her the bride price. And a video game portraying women as gold diggers.

These are among the cases fuelling heated debate, and outrage, on Chinese social media in recent months over sexism, misogyny and gender stereotypes.

The discussion started in April when a court in Datong, Shanxi province upheld the guilty verdict and three-year prison sentence of a man who had raped his fiancee the day after they got engaged.

The case centred on whether the bride price he paid of 100,000 yuan ($13,900) and a gold ring was considered marital consent and a tacit agreement for sex.

In June, there was anger over stereotyping and sexism after a Chinese online game originally called Revenge on Gold Diggers shot to the top of gaming platforms on day one.

Players of the game are male characters being pursued by manipulative women who only want one thing: their money. The backlash prompted the game's creators to change the name to Emotional Anti-Fraud Simulator the day after its release.

It did not end there. The same month, media reported that a 38-year-old cross-dresser had lured hundreds of young men into having sex, which he secretly filmed before selling the videos online.

Days later, a 21-year-old Chinese student was expelled from a university in Dalian, Liaoning province for having a one-night stand with a Ukrainian gamer attending an event in Shanghai.

The man had posted intimate photos and videos of the student, one of his fans, on social media, calling her "easy".

In the case of the cross-dresser the discussions initially focused on lurid details of the videos. But that shifted to a debate over why the men involved, including the cross-dresser, had their identities protected by the authorities yet the student, a woman, was publicly shamed by the university.

According to experts, the intense discussions around sexism and misogyny prompted by these cases are part of a broader phenomenon of "gender antagonism" that has emerged in China over the past few years. And the echo chamber effect on social media has only amplified these tensions.

They say frustrations have grown along with socioeconomic changes in China. Traditional notions about the roles of men and women are being challenged, there is more financial pressure, and the gender imbalance has made it harder to find a spouse.

Mi Huibo, a marriage and relationship counsellor who works in multiple cities across mainland China, said there were big social changes at play.

"The social status of women is rising because of education levels and income and they have become more independent," said Mi, who has also advised the government on marriage counselling guidelines.

"The traditional male mindset has been challenged," he added.

Mi said today's generation of Chinese women might be looking for a partner with financial security, but they also want to be in a relationship with someone who holds a similar world-view and who has the same values.

Those expectations, along with a severe gender imbalance, have made it far more difficult to find a partner.

"Back 15 years ago, finding a spouse was not that hard," Mi said. "But now it has become a lot more difficult."

Couples prepare to get their photo taken during a wedding photography shoot on a street in Shanghai, China, May 31, 2021. Reuters-Yonhap

The gender imbalance is a consequence of the one-child policy that was introduced in 1979 and ended in 2015.

During those decades, a cultural preference for sons skewed China's sex ratio at birth. There were 17.5 million more men than women aged between 20 and 40 at the last census in 2020.

Yuan Shiyu, a researcher with the Global Institute for Women's Leadership at King's College London, said young women in China were particularly frustrated because they were still discriminated against in the job market despite having high levels of education.

She said many men still wanted wives who could take on the traditional role of raising the family.

"Discrimination [against women] is still really common - job interviews can include questions about marriage or whether you're planning to have kids, and some job ads literally say they prefer men, even in public sector roles," Yuan said.

"On the other hand, for men, the cost of housing and raising kids keeps going up, and they may now even hope their future wives to be nurturing, supportive, doing all the housework so as they can better fulfill their breadwinner roles in these contexts."

'Acute anxieties'

Thomas Whyke, an assistant professor who specialises in gender and media at the University of Nottingham Ningbo China, echoed that view.

"The rapid socioeconomic changes in China have created acute anxieties about traditional gender privileges and roles," he said.

These gender tensions are not unique to China. A survey conducted earlier this year by King's College London across 30 countries - not including China - found the gender divide was more acute among Gen Z than earlier generations.

Heejung Chung, who led the study and is a professor and director of King's Global Institute for Women's Leadership, said the gender divide had widened among Gen Z because they grew up in a time when feminists were pushing more for equality and as women were better educated, with more going to university.

"So for young men, it seems like women are doing better, yet they are told women are in a weaker position and we need to do more for women," Chung said.

"This type of sentiment is monetised or used by politicians to gain votes. Young people [both men and women] these days are in worse positions compared to previous generations, and there is a lot of discontent."

Chung said gender antagonism was particularly serious in South Korea because of deep-rooted ideas about gender.

"Women [in South Korea] are outraged by current-day society," she said. "Young men are also furious as they think women blame men for everything, but also that men are in a much worse position than their fathers and grandfathers, and many politicians and social media influencers have made them think it is because women have gained a lot more - perhaps too much."

People wearing protective face masks walk during a morning rush hour in the Central Business District area of Beijing, March 2, 2021. Women in China are increasingly speaking out about their experiences with discrimination while seeking work. EPA-Yonhap

In China, the government has targeted feminist activists in the past decade, fearing the infiltration of Western ideology in Chinese society, as part of a broader crackdown.

State media has also accused some women comedians and online influencers of inflaming gender antagonism as the government worries about declining marriage and birth rates and a looming demographic crisis.

Despite that, experts say the feminist awakening in China continues.

"Over time, women seem to be generating increasingly vibrant insights, expanding their critique to encompass a broader range of social issues," said Angela Xiao Wu, an associate professor in media, culture and communication at New York University.

"By contrast, men's responses remain relatively stable and predictable."

Experts say social media has played a role in amplifying the anger among men and women in China, with platforms sending content to users and creating different "realities" around gender.

"Both men and women feel ripped off because they're operating within fundamentally different constructed realities shaped by platform-specific echo chambers," according to Whyke.

That reaction was seen after a 21-year-old gamer in Chongqing known Pang Mao, or Fat Cat, took his own life following a break-up in April last year.

His sister amassed millions of followers on social media after she claimed her brother had been dumped after he transferred 510,000 yuan to his girlfriend, who was later doxxed.

A police investigation found the man had not fallen victim to a romance scam, but that did little to quell the discussion online that reinforced the stereotype that many women enter into relationships for material gain - that they are laonu, or gold diggers.

"On male-dominated [Q&A platform] Zhihu, users frame Fat Cat as a victim of manipulation, using terms like 'PUA' [pickup artist] and describing women as financially motivated," Whyke said.

"Meanwhile, on female-oriented Xiaohongshu [also known as the RedNote social media platform] users defend women's rights to financial compensation in relationships while characterising men like Fat Cat as emotionally invested."

Whyke said social media influencers had played a role in turning personal tragedies into forums for discussing issues around gender.

"In the Fat Cat incident, his suicide after transferring 510,000 yuan to his girlfriend became a focal point for broader gender-related discussions," he said.

Polarised narratives become the "frameworks for understanding relationships" on social media, according to Whyke.

He said the rape case in Datong followed a similar pattern, "where algorithmic amplification of emotionally charged content creates concentrated discussions that reflect existing gender perspectives".

Confucianism vs feminism

Girls are seen at a Chongqing park. AP-Yonhap

He said while gender antagonism also existed in other countries, there were multiple and often opposing forces at play in China.

"China's situation is characterised by what I call the 'double bind' of commercial dynamics and regulatory frameworks," he said.

"There are tensions between traditional Confucian values and feminist perspectives, with some viewing them as conflicting frameworks while simultaneously, platform economies monetise user engagement around gender topics."

He said online influencers had incentives to express strong viewpoints since engagement directly translated to financial gain.

"The media environment in China also means that gender-related discussions can develop rapidly through platform-specific communities without the diversity of voices that might be present in different media systems," Whyke added.

He said there was also an emphasis in China on what could be gained financially and emotionally from a relationship - an assessment described by social exchange theory, which suggests people weigh the costs and benefits of interaction.

"While Western contexts often focus on rights and representation, Chinese gender-related discussions frequently centre on economic considerations and quantifiable 'emotional value' in relationships," Whyke said.

He has also observed strategic and financial considerations in the discussion of relationships, such as RedNote users sharing dating strategies like accepting only 80 per cent of any money offered.

That goes back to the idea of the gold digger, a phenomenon 22-year-old student Crystal Jin believes has much to do with insecurity, and has been driven by Chinese society.

Jin, who is studying architecture at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, has been playing the online game Emotional Anti-Fraud Simulator.

"Gold diggers are not born wrongdoers," she said. "They are seeking a sense of security in the way the traditional patriarchal society has told them to."

Mi, the marriage and relationship counsellor, agreed that the emphasis on financial gain stemmed from insecurity, especially in Chinese society where people lacked spiritual and emotional support.

"Why do people talk about whether their spouse's name should be added to the marital home?" he said. "These are signs of insecurity."

Read the full story at SCMP.